Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Runner's Hi Do You Have Directions?

EB today consisted of a nice long run (or at least it did for me). We got there and did our warm-up stuff and then we started running. Now, of course, you can imagine that when a group of people go out on a run - the group staggers. The more seasoned bootcampers take longer routes and are first in line. The less seasoned (or wholly unseasoned bootcampers, like myself) end up sort of in the back.

Today, I was sort of running second to last. I could see the lady in front of me for a good part of the run but then I lost her. I couldn't see the DI and other bootcamper behind me. So, like Forrest trying to come to grips with his loss of Jenny, I just ran. I was sort of lost. Sort of not. I knew what city I was in but I had NO IDEA what street I was on. I sort of prayed that the street I was coming up on was the street I thought it was. I sort of was thinking about the fact that I may need to ask someone but no one was around. (Where is a cop when you need them?)Yeah, it was sort of special. I guess that is why I kept jogging - because if I stopped I would never have known if I was going the right way.

Then I started thinking...would anyone find me? And why didn't I bring my cell phone? I wondered if J would look for me if I never came home. Or, whether J would just go back to work and let the babies cry until they walked out of the room when they were 3 all dressed and ready to go to preschool? Would I be like Natalie Holloway? No because I wasn't drinking and I wasn't in Aruba? Would I be like what's her name - the one who wasn't killed by (but was having an affair with) the guy they thought killed her? Name, name. CHANDRA LEVY. Condit. Bleck. She was running too. But, nope, no affair here. Then I thought of poor Laci. But thankfully, I am not pregnant and although J may not have a Tina Fan Club every day, I don't think he is thinking of murder. {Number 1 cause of death of pregnant women: MURDER. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.} Besides that, against popular advice, we don't have any life insurance so my death would leave a huge gaping hole in the daily life of my family even though...according to J, I do nothing. Anywho. Yeah, no life insurance, we really ought to get that and write a will. Yes, I really thought of all these things...in what I think was the first mile. Why? Because that is what disturbed people like me think of.

Now, running for me has never been something I enjoyed but today, it wasn't horrible. I thought I would need music or company to run for that long but the noise in my head was plenty (see above). It was quiet and I felt good. Nothing hurt (except my side) and even though I am not a very fast runner, I stayed jogging for...hold on to your seats...3 miles. Can you believe it?

Now, mind you, I jogged into camp today and I felt like a dipball. Everyone was already stretching and stuff. It was time to go home. But, you know what, I did it. And I went to EB feeling sort of crappy this morning, and that jog took the bleck right out of me. I have felt good all day.

EB really has made me feel better, taller (if that is possible), more energetic, less oaf. I don't think I have lost all that much weight but I don't feel as flabby. I also have created goals for myself. When I started it was like, "if I can make it to that tree, then I will let myself walk a little." Now, it's like, "I can't stop jogging." Next session, it may be "I want to keep this pace or make it back in X amount of time." This is good for me.

I am not one to be all fitness advocate. Rah Rah Tammy Lee Webb, look at my Abs O Steel. But, I now get why people end up sticking to a routine. It can be invigorating and it feels good. I have never come back from working out feeling like I shouldn't have gone.

This has been a good experience. The DIs are great. They are encouraging and knowledgeable and likable. You know there is a very delicate balance between bossing a person around to do stuff they don't think they can do AND being kind. The DIs manage it. This experience has been worth every minute's lost sleep. Go EB.

I was chitchatting with DI-Size0 on Facebook today. I was sort of giving her a hard time for ditching me in the middle of Claremont somewhere. I kind of wanted her impression about how we have all improved and whether that was a source of pride for her. And she was saying that the only time they get annoyed as DIs is when someone drops all that money and then they aren't motivated or encouraged by the DIs and they sort of go half assed. I don't get this attitude either (and I don't think anyone in my group has this attitude). I mean, when I don't do something it's truly because I can't. I don't get the concept of paying to get your ass kicked at 5 am and then not really doing it. Anyhow, kick my ass. I pretty much always do my best - even if it means I am in the middle of nowhere looking for a cop or fearing a murderer.

I know this "rah rah EB" post is premature. I still have 3 more days. But, I had to say it now because I am just filled with happy happy joy joy emotions. Is this what they call a runner's high? Well if it is, I like it. Bring on the endorphins people, I am here to stay.


  1. I'm glad you felt that great high while getting your morning jog. Now let's set a new goal: no more thinking about that terrible shit while you run!

  2. LOL I would have been totally panicking that no one would find me and I would never find my way back to my car!! Good for you for making it-running is hard :)

  3. I am not a fan of running, but i like to get on an exercise bike and just let my mind wonder. sometimes the topics my brain brings up for discussion are not pleasant. but we get a lot of stuff sorted during that time.

    even if it's terrible shit, i bet you get some stuff resolved in that time alone with yourself.