What a great day today started out to be! A fab day. I survived EB. I ran and felt like I picked up the pace a bit - I lumbered to the finish line without feeling like a collapse was imminent. Good day. In the grand scheme, today still is a good day. Everyone is healthy (knocking on wood). Work is plentiful. However, as the day wore on my elation (and apparently "runner's high") seemed to take a few significant drops.
I cheerily left EB today and got a little mixed up on how to get home - after all it was still 6:30 a.m. in my brain. I am generally directionally challenged - in the wee hours when I can't wake up J, I am really really challenged. When I finally realized my way by noting some landmarks, my cheer apparently went straight to my foot and before I hit 52 mph, I saw the flashing lights. This is my second speeding ticket in 6 months. Traffic school is not an option. Drop 1.
Then, I dropped my kid. Yep, you read it right. I literally DROPPED MY KID. I was holding Juju, all 28 pounds of love, cheer, and soft rolls. I was going to put him in his Bumbo. Ah, the life saving baby sitting (literally, and figuratively) powers of the Bumbo. And I stepped on one of his toys. Not just any toy. One with fuschia plastic spikes. It is supposed to light up but only lit up for one day and never lit up again (piece of s**t). Anyhow, as it impaled my heel, I gained my balance for a moment only to step on another toy. At this point, I was not savable. I was trying to save my kid. I pretty much almost dislocated my shoulder trying to save him and then, I couldn't. I fell. He fell and hit his head on my other babysitter. And then, the crying began. Mine and his. I dropped my kid. This moment comprised the biggest drop of the day...literally, and figuratively.
I soothed him. I could not, however, soothe me. Ah, grace is not my strength.
Other things happened today: (1) my order for "healthmex" chicken tacos was enveloped by gnarly corn tortillas which make me gag (I said FLOUR people!); (2) I nailed my ankle on the corner of my desk; and (3) a prospective client called who wanted a contingency (free) attorney and ate up more time than I'd like to admit. These things are sort of stupid and pale in comparison to the fact that I dropped my kid.
At the end of the day, like most families, we have the nightly ritual consisting of bath, bottle (for the lil ones), books (for the big one), and bed. This time is hectic but I love it because it is the time of the day where I really have the time and presence of mind to look at my boys and take them all in and eat up their adorable yumminess and funniness. I love bath time. Today, my dropped child, Mr. Jujo. Mr. Mellow with his rolls galore, double chins, drool, fat feet, one tooth, long hair...he gazed up at me with his wonderful smile. His little chunky leg was draped outside of the blue plastic bathtub and he just stared and smiled. He was happy to be hanging out, as was I.
It's just so great - I just dropped this poor kid. But he wasn't holding a grudge...he just was loving life, loving me. No consequence for my clumsiness, for dropping the ball. I wish that the cop just looked at me and said, "hey you dropped the ball but hey, here's another chance do it right". Sparkly smile, tip of hat, gone.
But, at the end of the day, the real drop was forgiven. Wrongs are not often without consequence. I do have my ticket and fine, after all. I am glad that I could have a drop today without consequence. It was beyond not having a consequence - I had a reward. I still have that little bundle of love and adoring squishiness smiling at me, chuckling with me. It could have been a lot worse. But I am so thankful it wasn't. In the grand scheme, the drops today did not matter. Maybe, it was not such a bad day after all.