Tuesday, April 28, 2009

How to Be a Successful Blogger

I was saving this ad from Nutri-System that I got in a Valu-Pak coupon mailer I received. I wanted to scan in the ad and then talk about it here because the picture on it was so funny. The brunette chick was in a green bikini (clearly trying to cause confusion with the Jenny Craig/Valerie aqua bikini) and she was sort of laying down almost, propped on her elbows. They, of course, show this "unflattering" BEFORE picture of her basically PUSHING OUT her stomach and she is wearing a tank top that is a tad small. Frankly, she wasn't to heiffery to begin with. Moving along...

I noticed that anyone in that position looks pretty good. Gravity is pulling all that yummy flabby stuff elsewhere and the boobs still have cleavage. I need to incorporate this no gravity position into my life some more. I don't think I'd look all Gabrielle Reece in that position but it certainly would be more flattering than some other negative gravity situations (standing up, sitting down, breathing, etc.) On the other hand, how could I incorporate that position into a networking event? Ah, that is neither here nor there.

Having said that, the chick looked uncomfortable and honestly, I think she looked the same as her BEFORE picture because who looks good with their stomach all bulged out and wearing a tank that is 12 sizes too small. Before and After shots should be in the same position with the same clothes.

Anyway, all this blabbing brings me to this. I was saving the damn ad to share here on my great blog and tonight I was shoving a Skinny Cow Mint Ice Cream Sandwich in my fat face (because I had WW points to spare) and absent-mindedly put it down on anti-gravity, Nutri-System model so I could try Julio's yummy (low cal) mango sorbet. Now Pseudo-Valerie has Skinny Cow Chocolate Sandwich all over her and can't be scanned.

This is why I won't be a successful blogger, or a successful dieter for that matter.

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