Wednesday, April 15, 2009

In Response to Dr. Laura

Yesterday I blogged about Dr. Laura's new book. She may have left an anonymous comment but I think it is worth exploring even if it isn't her. I left the following comment in my comments but am posting here as well.


To Anonymous/Dr. Schlessinger:

If you are Dr. Laura, which I doubt a little, I appreciate that you took the time to comment. However, I respectfully disagree with you. If you are not Dr. Laura, then well, I disagree with you too and the comment below will still be relevant.

In your comment you indicate that you are sad that "some women" are willing to believe that hired help can replace motherly love. Frankly, I do not believe that nor is that expressed in my post. Motherly love is not replaceable. With that said, that does not mean a mother loves her children less or is less loving if she has other commitments.

I also never diminish SAHMs in any way in my post, in fact, I do the opposite. I do not think my decision to work or have “hired help” diminishes the role of other mothers and I have a tough time making that leap in your reasoning. I do, however, wholeheartedly believe that women make choices that are best for themselves and their families and that those choices each have value and can result in happy children, happy families, and happy homes.

I understand that your popularity is based on having somewhat controversial and conservative opinions. And so, of course, people will disagree with you and you are “paid” for having opinions that rub people the wrong way. After having listened to you and knowing your opinion on various issues, I know that I generally disagree with you.

But, I do think it is not necessary or appropriate to insult or put down working women because you do not think Moms should work. You can have an opinion, a strong one even, without berating those who you feel are a scourge on society.

I will tell you that I have read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, given to me by my mother (a fabulous SAHM) shortly after I was married. I am capable of reading any books, including yours, with an open mind and heart. I cannot say I agreed with your entire book. I also cannot say I disagreed with all of it. But, I read it and absorbed it.

Some people are able to read analytically and make relevant comments that actually respond to what they have read without being completely wedded to their own belief system and ideology. If you like, send me your book and I will read it, open mind, open heart, and in the spirit of reading the work of another working woman with whom I disagree, and I will comment. My e-mail address is losingmylap at gmail dot com. I will send you my mailing address when I get an e-mail from you.


Tina L.
A Mother and Working

1 comment:

  1. Hi, T...

    Well, you got your first Anony comment! That could mean that your blog has been surfed by a lot of varied and random people... And that's a good thing, isn't it?!

    I don't know this for a fact, but I feel confident enough about it to assure you that if anyone in Dr. Laura's camp was charged with crawling the internet for hit alerts, they would have a posting ID and they would have a pre-formatted response coupled with a linkety-link.

    But still, using it as a jumping point for another post you wanted to make was a good idea.

    It's just so bizarre... How long will these damn How Good Of A Mother Are You debates be around? Of course nothing is new under the sun, so our mothers and their mothers and so on probably made casual comments to each other in the privacy of their own homes or park benches.

    But ever since the debut of the interwebs, you can have your ideas and positions slammed by a global audience. Innit fun?

    It's why I cringe that the news websites open stories up to comments. There is so much ignorance that abounds. And so many feelings to get hurt over some random person's comments on body hair, school choice, global warming, pacifiers, thumb sucking, organic gardening, ageism, racism, dating, teen sex, the pledge of allegiance, smokers, religion.......

    Just keep using this forum as YOUR soapbox, confessional, and therapist's couch. Plow past the feedback. :)