Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Can Work

Yes, the plague has made another appearance. Yesterday, I was sick. I worked as much as I could handle but I am totally sick again. My life in a petri dish continues. Yesterday, I actually drove all the way to my Daddy's office and asked him to cure me. He drew blood, made me pee in a cup (MUCH easier when you aren't pregnant! WOW! Who knew?), and gave me Zithromax. Oh, Zmax. You and me, we've become such good friends. Zmax, the wonderful folks at the local CVS, and me - Peas in a Pod.

Like an IDIOT, I went to EB yesterday trying to pretend I wasn't sick. Trying to pretend that EB would make me stronger. I would sweat that virus/bacteria right out. I even (while driving) told myself that meningitis-like headache was only because I was sleepy. I convinced myself that the body aches were from doing various animal crawls on Friday. All crap - the things that fat will motivate me to do. I came home and felt like dying...again. WHEN WILL THIS STOP? I am fanatical with my Purell and my hand washing. I hold my breath for unusual lengths of time to get around a fresh cough from a sickie kid who hasn't yet learned to cover his/her mouth. WHY O WHY THE PLAGUE? And I didn't even get to puke this time, so no significant weight loss is in store for me. Sigh.

Today, I am working. The body aches are less achy. The headache has toned down to be less awful. I am so behind in work it's not even funny. J is giving me the "why aren't you billing" look? I am giving him the "why don't you drive back and forth to the pharmacy, the pediatrician, mail, bank, networking, dealing with nonsense" look. It has been special here. Fun times. April has passed in a POOF. POOF gone. April. Bu bye. I have to send out my sad bills in a few days and I will have to come to grips with my shitty billable hours.

Meanwhile, at least I have the freedom to have shitty billable hours and not get laid off. I have the ability to put my family first for a month while the shit hits the fan. That is sort of nice. Most of my friends at big firms got pay cuts this month. Yes, to some seething folks out there, it is not really sad when someone makes 225k instead of 250k a year. And yes, it's not horrible. But, it still sucks. Lawyers have loans too, lawyers have mortgages too, lawyers have kids and commitments. They make commitments thinking they have X salary and then when they have X-10% it may suck. Also, one of my friends got laid off - top 5% of our class, top guy, top firm. Laid off.

Oh, I am so glad that I got laid off years ago and I made this decision to start this practice. It put me here now. I can be the master of my own paycheck. The only person I disappoint is my husband, J, but technically I am his boss ;) I am managing partner, I am hiring partner. So if he doesn't like it he can complain to his boss, ME, and I can tell him where to shove it. Yeah, right? No, but seriously, it is good to be here now. Sick for most of the month with shitty billables and not biting my nails because I could be laid off.

Instead, I can bite my nails about being sick and pediatricians and my Mom and my Aunt and EB and other things but NOT being laid off. I can work. Lucky me. Seriously.

1 comment:

  1. What a great perspective. If you get twitter, you can tweet this and you will get tons of followers and become a famous legal momma blogger. So, what is your monthly billable goal? Just wondering.

    I'm at a smaller firm -- 14 attys and work is busy. We laid off staff in December, but no associates. (Yet, I almost want to say...) And no, I don't make anywhere close to $250k.