Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Ex-Nanny Chronicles Part I: Is that clear? Crystal.

Crystal started as the night nanny for the twins shortly after they got home from the hospital. Not having a night nanny for twins and working full time is pretty damn hard. I did it for 8 weeks while recovering from a c-section and gimping on my plantar fasciitis feet and then realized that I either needed to be committed to an institution or get a night nanny...I splurged for the night nanny. Enter Crystal.

I did not have to be friends with Crystal. She was supposed to be here while I slept and so I did not care if we were not going to be best friends or whether she would set a good example for the kids. Her term was going to be extremely temporary. She was doing fine at night and my daytime nanny was taking a vacation (terrible damn timing) so I asked Crystal if she stop working nights and could help out during the day in the interim. (The babies were sleeping a good block at this point.)

Aside from the drama of actually getting here when she was supposed to on a consistent basis, one of my favorite incidents is from the day I fired her. She had been with us about 6-8 weeks (not every day due to the aforementioned "inability to show up/show up on time" drama) and I found her crying. Sympathy is not one of the qualities I am known for. She was crying because her boyfriend told her that he had herpes and so she should get tested. Good times.

I did not fire her because she had herpes, that would be cruel. A sore here and there would not affect her ability to put a bottle in my newborn's mouth every 3-4 hours. This is especially true because I would not actually be witness to these sores. She would not be seeping on anything that I own or love. Anyhow, moving on.

The reason I fired her is because she was so distressed about her potential herpes diagnosis that she could not work the rest of her shift and she did not want to wait until she got an appointment to take off. She wanted to leave immediately and come back at some undisclosed time after she had a doctor's appointment that she had not yet made but planned on making the next day.

Honestly, at this point, I just needed HELP. H.E.L.P. But, this was the only time EVER that I literally fired someone without having a backup of ANY KIND. I told her to get her stuff and get out of my house.

Cruel to fire someone who just found out she might have herpes. Yes.

But it felt so damn good after all her nonsense.

Get out of my house, Crystal. Is that clear?

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