A Breeding Ground for Subdural Hematomas

Meals are a real unique experience these days. The twins are 19 months and are starting to test me. They are also copying each other and think they are extremely clever and cute. Well, the cute is not going to save them from having a mother who wanders around the house mumbling incoherently because she got walloped on the head by a flying sippy cup and does not have the time for a proper CT scan.

It's not just hard plastic objects at the table. It is also food. There was a time when I thought a nugget lost its ability to fly when it was (presumably) scooped out of the grain fed, hormone free organic chicken ;), shaped into a dinosaur, breaded, and baked. But nope, they fly here. They are free here. Naughty chickens reincarnate into nuggets and fly in my house without wings.

That little Jojo, he winds up, he looks you in the eye, he gives you a smile and twinkle, and catapults his object of choice. And then, there is Juju, sweet Juju, innocent mellow happy Juju, who really just wants to eat. He is fat and hungry. But, as he owes his in utero donor twin his life, he decides, "well I will take one for the team", and so he flings his nugget/corn/bean/bread etc. into the void.

Why do they DO this? What goes through their mind? If I react, they think I am hilarious. They think THEY are hilarious. Well, they aren't. This is especially true on the 2 days a month when the maid has come and made my floors gleam for a short lived hour. If I don't react, they don't eat or they do it again and again. Then, I look at the clock, thank the Lord for the schedule that I enforce, and countdown the minutes until I can be on my hands and knees locating unconsumed morsels of food on the floor wondering why I am seeing double and have a headache.

This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.
Patience is a virtue.
Patience is a virtue.
Patience is a virtue.
Clean floors are not possible.
Clean floors are not possible.
Clean floors are not possible.