The ice packs wouldn't stay on my knees. Our crafty assistant recommended binder clips. Cute, huh?
Monday, March 9, 2009
How to Ice Your Knees While Working...
The ice packs wouldn't stay on my knees. Our crafty assistant recommended binder clips. Cute, huh?
Cry Baby
My knees hurt so bad that my skin hurts and my legs hurt, my face hurts. Do you get the idea? You know what, they don't hurt so much as ache, really really ache to my core. This weekend when I laid me down to rest - they ached, as I nodded off - they ached. Do you get the idea? OK. Now. Yesterday, I loaded up on Advil (per my father's - a doctor - advice). Every six hours. They felt a little better when I woke up this morning but mid-workout today. I literally couldn't get back down ONTO my mat and then I couldn't get UP from my mat. I kid you not. I cried. Frustration, pain. How did this happen?
You know, I cry fairly easily when I watch Love Story, Steel Magnolias, Terms of Endearment, La Bamba (yes, I know he is going to die), a Hallmark commercial, Oprah, watching my kids grow up, cooking dinner without burning it. But, pain does not make me cry. I suck it up for the most part. Post c-section - I didn't cry. Even without Percocet. Tonsillectomy, nose job. No crying. Stubbing my toe...a little crying because that hurts. Today, I ached.
And DI-Size0. God bless her. She was really nice. Told me to get a sip of water and pull it together. She talked to me - checked out my knees. I wasn't sobbing, leaking more than anything, but I am definitely frustrated because I CAN DO WHAT THEY ARE TELLING US TO DO. I am physically capable to sprint, run, jog, squat, lunge BUT FOR MY KNEES! In fact, I got a little bit of a sprint on prior to my knees exploding. I don't get as winded as I first did. I could seriously be IMPROVING, but for, my knees. They ache to my core. Have I said that already?
Anyhow, ice, ant-inflammatories, patience. I have no patience. I want to lose the weight NOW (Cheesecake Factory Saturday night - did not help!). I want to lose weight because my knees will feel better. Yes, yes, I want to lose inches. YEAH! Inches. Inches, screw the inches. I want the pounds to FLY OFF! Because the WEIGHT is what is making my knees hurt and probably everything else hurt. I am being whiny. Sorry. Oh sigh! SIGH. SIGH!
This morning Sarah Jessica Parker was teaching the word SIGH on Sesame Street. Her sigh annoyed me. That's not a sigh. Lame. A chick who can fit into the clothes she fits into, is married to cutie Ferris Bueller, and is pulling in royalties from Sex in the City til she dies...DOES NOT NEED TO SIGH FOR NOTHING! Even as she pulls off Manolos from her aching feet at midnight after a night on the town with Ferris...she shouldn't sigh. Sorry, SJP, I like you mostly, but you know, not today with all your sighing. You are very talented just not at SIGHING!
Personally, if I was casting Sesame Street and I needed the perfect person to demonstrate sighing it would be someone like Mia Farrow, not SJP. Woody, a fairly irritating individual, bails and marries HER daugther Soon-Yi Frumpy. Raising 700 kids on her own, has she acted lately? Anyhow, I have to give Sesame Street props for their choice of David Beckham for PERSISTENCE. All is well. Moving on.
And, so now, with ice on my knees, I am just sort of hoping for an improvement here. I can't be crying like a sissy girl at EB. It is humiliating. Who am I? I probably would have understood if DI-Size0 said "honey, move your fat ass that ate cheesecake (and wine, a martini, Chinese food, etc. etc.) or I'll give you something to cry about." But she didn't. Thank you DI.
I will get through this. I will get through this. I will get through this.
Visualization: I fully intend to cry in six months, four sessions from now, as I watch the new boot campers catch their stride, do full push ups, lunge until their knees touch the ground, and complete their first six weeks. Now, that's something to cry about.
You know, I cry fairly easily when I watch Love Story, Steel Magnolias, Terms of Endearment, La Bamba (yes, I know he is going to die), a Hallmark commercial, Oprah, watching my kids grow up, cooking dinner without burning it. But, pain does not make me cry. I suck it up for the most part. Post c-section - I didn't cry. Even without Percocet. Tonsillectomy, nose job. No crying. Stubbing my toe...a little crying because that hurts. Today, I ached.
And DI-Size0. God bless her. She was really nice. Told me to get a sip of water and pull it together. She talked to me - checked out my knees. I wasn't sobbing, leaking more than anything, but I am definitely frustrated because I CAN DO WHAT THEY ARE TELLING US TO DO. I am physically capable to sprint, run, jog, squat, lunge BUT FOR MY KNEES! In fact, I got a little bit of a sprint on prior to my knees exploding. I don't get as winded as I first did. I could seriously be IMPROVING, but for, my knees. They ache to my core. Have I said that already?
Anyhow, ice, ant-inflammatories, patience. I have no patience. I want to lose the weight NOW (Cheesecake Factory Saturday night - did not help!). I want to lose weight because my knees will feel better. Yes, yes, I want to lose inches. YEAH! Inches. Inches, screw the inches. I want the pounds to FLY OFF! Because the WEIGHT is what is making my knees hurt and probably everything else hurt. I am being whiny. Sorry. Oh sigh! SIGH. SIGH!
This morning Sarah Jessica Parker was teaching the word SIGH on Sesame Street. Her sigh annoyed me. That's not a sigh. Lame. A chick who can fit into the clothes she fits into, is married to cutie Ferris Bueller, and is pulling in royalties from Sex in the City til she dies...DOES NOT NEED TO SIGH FOR NOTHING! Even as she pulls off Manolos from her aching feet at midnight after a night on the town with Ferris...she shouldn't sigh. Sorry, SJP, I like you mostly, but you know, not today with all your sighing. You are very talented just not at SIGHING!
Personally, if I was casting Sesame Street and I needed the perfect person to demonstrate sighing it would be someone like Mia Farrow, not SJP. Woody, a fairly irritating individual, bails and marries HER daugther Soon-Yi Frumpy. Raising 700 kids on her own, has she acted lately? Anyhow, I have to give Sesame Street props for their choice of David Beckham for PERSISTENCE. All is well. Moving on.
And, so now, with ice on my knees, I am just sort of hoping for an improvement here. I can't be crying like a sissy girl at EB. It is humiliating. Who am I? I probably would have understood if DI-Size0 said "honey, move your fat ass that ate cheesecake (and wine, a martini, Chinese food, etc. etc.) or I'll give you something to cry about." But she didn't. Thank you DI.
I will get through this. I will get through this. I will get through this.
Visualization: I fully intend to cry in six months, four sessions from now, as I watch the new boot campers catch their stride, do full push ups, lunge until their knees touch the ground, and complete their first six weeks. Now, that's something to cry about.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Mooooooooooooooo
Today I received a brief from opposing counsel. The first sentence read as follows:
"...so the Petitioner's Motion to Compel is now mute as it has been complied with."
The last sentence reads:
"Respondent's Attorney just wanted his recollection on the record as this point is now mute."
Now, first off, I just want to say that I know that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I am CERTAIN I have made stupid stupid typos and grammatical errors. I fully admit to discomfort with cliches and where/were and their/there. I read things I write quite a few extra times to make sure I don't say something lame. And, if you are a lawyer and are reading this - you probably have made typos too. (If you are lawyer you will also note that, he responded to a motion to just say that he wanted his recollection on the record. Oh sigh.) Sometimes we read our motions 50x before we file them and we'll still miss something. That happens! But, I try real hard to make sure I don't make even one mistake. I do it for the impression it leaves to opposing counsel, I do it for my client who entrusts me, I do it as a courtesy to the English language.
But, my hunch, is that this guy is charging his client a few hundred dollars an hour to end his sentences with a preposition and use the word MUTE instead of MOOT! MOOT! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. The lawyer cow is speaking...MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. Oh, such a pet peeve of mine. I also love people who say that is INacceptable or IRregardless. These are not words people.
You know, let me just say one more thing about this "moot" issue. Remember this dialogue:
Joey: ...it's a moo point...
Rachel: ...you mean a moot point....
Joey: no no, a moo point ... like a cows opinion, doesn't matter ... it's moo
I'm just sayin'. I suppose I am making a moot point, at the end of the day, I am not his client. But, it is so annoying to read. When people write something so flawed they should think of the bleeding, anal, OCD eyes that have to read it. They also should think that what they are is what they write. Moving on.
OK. I sort of did an EB "no no" today. I weighed myself. All this starving, all this exercise, the sore knees, the aching shoulder, the waking up at 4:45 a.m. Is it paying off? Brothers and sisters, I am sorry to say that it is not. I gained effing weight. GAINED. Gained. Yeah, not stayed the same, not lost. I GAINED. I'm angry and don't quite know where to place that anger. What I really want to do is share my pain with my friends Ben and Jerry. But alas, I cannot. If I gain while starving, imagine what a little bit of love from the tub of Cherry Garcia will do.
Irregardless, since I am apparently going to stay a COW, I am clearly making a moo point. My opinion doesn't matter. This is inacceptable. Time for me to be mute.
"...so the Petitioner's Motion to Compel is now mute as it has been complied with."
The last sentence reads:
"Respondent's Attorney just wanted his recollection on the record as this point is now mute."
Now, first off, I just want to say that I know that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I am CERTAIN I have made stupid stupid typos and grammatical errors. I fully admit to discomfort with cliches and where/were and their/there. I read things I write quite a few extra times to make sure I don't say something lame. And, if you are a lawyer and are reading this - you probably have made typos too. (If you are lawyer you will also note that, he responded to a motion to just say that he wanted his recollection on the record. Oh sigh.) Sometimes we read our motions 50x before we file them and we'll still miss something. That happens! But, I try real hard to make sure I don't make even one mistake. I do it for the impression it leaves to opposing counsel, I do it for my client who entrusts me, I do it as a courtesy to the English language.
But, my hunch, is that this guy is charging his client a few hundred dollars an hour to end his sentences with a preposition and use the word MUTE instead of MOOT! MOOT! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. The lawyer cow is speaking...MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. Oh, such a pet peeve of mine. I also love people who say that is INacceptable or IRregardless. These are not words people.
You know, let me just say one more thing about this "moot" issue. Remember this dialogue:
Joey: ...it's a moo point...
Rachel: ...you mean a moot point....
Joey: no no, a moo point ... like a cows opinion, doesn't matter ... it's moo
I'm just sayin'. I suppose I am making a moot point, at the end of the day, I am not his client. But, it is so annoying to read. When people write something so flawed they should think of the bleeding, anal, OCD eyes that have to read it. They also should think that what they are is what they write. Moving on.
OK. I sort of did an EB "no no" today. I weighed myself. All this starving, all this exercise, the sore knees, the aching shoulder, the waking up at 4:45 a.m. Is it paying off? Brothers and sisters, I am sorry to say that it is not. I gained effing weight. GAINED. Gained. Yeah, not stayed the same, not lost. I GAINED. I'm angry and don't quite know where to place that anger. What I really want to do is share my pain with my friends Ben and Jerry. But alas, I cannot. If I gain while starving, imagine what a little bit of love from the tub of Cherry Garcia will do.
Irregardless, since I am apparently going to stay a COW, I am clearly making a moo point. My opinion doesn't matter. This is inacceptable. Time for me to be mute.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I Kill Dolphins
Oh, the drama. Today at dinner we gave Lulo chicken nuggets and asparagus. Apparently, he just noticed that these nuggets were shaped like dolphins because all hell broke loose when I cut them into pieces. He wanted me to "fix" it. Magic powers, where are you? If I could have fixed the dolphin to stop the screaming, I would have.
For the next ten minutes, he cried about the loss of his beloved dolphins. Meanwhile, amidst the sobs, tears, and hysterics he completely devoured the dolphins.
I'm not the only dolphin killer.
For the next ten minutes, he cried about the loss of his beloved dolphins. Meanwhile, amidst the sobs, tears, and hysterics he completely devoured the dolphins.
I'm not the only dolphin killer.
Obstacle Course
This morning at 5:30 a.m. I was greeted by an obstacle course. It didn't end after EB - I don't think it will ever end.
There were 8 EB Obstacle stations through which each member of the group rotated:
1. Jump Rope (my fave...in a lovely turn of fate we ran out of time and I didn't get to this one - little happy dance)
2. Lift large heavy bar over head while squatting
3. Squat with one foot resting (while leg shaking) on large box, then hop to the other side and squat the same way. While hopping, extend arms in air like grabbing a rebound. (Code for "Flail")
4. Push ups and such things while holding on to large circular rings dangling from the top of an SUV, mid-levitation
5. DI-GM wraps very large thick (5-6 inches or so) rubber band around waist and makes your run, sprint, run backwards, do defensive slides in one direction while he pulls you in the other. This was a highlight. I felt like an ox.
6. Stomach stuff (DIs called this "our break"). Staying in a hover while things burn = Not a break. Eating Ben & Jerry's while watching Big Love = Break.
7. Arm strengthening exercises with band
8. 8 cones with tennis balls on one end, 8 cones with tennis balls on the other end. Pick up tennis ball, run across, place on opposite facing cone until all cones on one end have tennis balls then do the same thing the other way. THIS PERSON WAS THE TIME KEEPER. So, if the person doing obstacle, let's call her "Tina", decides to collapse mid way then everyone at the other stations would have to keep going until she revived herself and continued on with the tennis balls until they were again located at their starting point. By luck of the draw, I did this one last. Ha. ha. ha.
There were 8 EB Obstacle stations through which each member of the group rotated:
1. Jump Rope (my fave...in a lovely turn of fate we ran out of time and I didn't get to this one - little happy dance)
2. Lift large heavy bar over head while squatting
3. Squat with one foot resting (while leg shaking) on large box, then hop to the other side and squat the same way. While hopping, extend arms in air like grabbing a rebound. (Code for "Flail")
4. Push ups and such things while holding on to large circular rings dangling from the top of an SUV, mid-levitation
5. DI-GM wraps very large thick (5-6 inches or so) rubber band around waist and makes your run, sprint, run backwards, do defensive slides in one direction while he pulls you in the other. This was a highlight. I felt like an ox.
6. Stomach stuff (DIs called this "our break"). Staying in a hover while things burn = Not a break. Eating Ben & Jerry's while watching Big Love = Break.
7. Arm strengthening exercises with band
8. 8 cones with tennis balls on one end, 8 cones with tennis balls on the other end. Pick up tennis ball, run across, place on opposite facing cone until all cones on one end have tennis balls then do the same thing the other way. THIS PERSON WAS THE TIME KEEPER. So, if the person doing obstacle, let's call her "Tina", decides to collapse mid way then everyone at the other stations would have to keep going until she revived herself and continued on with the tennis balls until they were again located at their starting point. By luck of the draw, I did this one last. Ha. ha. ha.
Weirdly, I feel like this course sort of mirrored stuff that was going on. For example, the jump rope "obstacle" is my whole day. Jump around as quickly as I can without tripping up. Kids, work, J, pediatrician, dinner, kids, work, client, bath time, work, husband, work, kids. Jump. Jump. Jump. Trip - Forgot to put salt in rice. Trip - Drop kid. Oh sigh.
The 8 cone extravaganza was also analogous to "a day in the life". Run back and forth until I either collapse or survive. Meanwhile, other people wait and watch to see if I'll make it. Clients wait for their work product. Kids wait for me (to be their Mommy). waits for me (to calm down mostly). All the while, I am hoping not to "drop a ball" because I don't have the patience, time, or stamina to fix the mess. Half the time I am surrounded by post it notes covered in lists so that the balls remain carefully balanced on the cones until I have time to grab them.
But today, #5 resonates with me the most. Oh, my eldest darling baby boy, Lulo, starts preschool next week. This week we have made "visits" to the classroom together. The first visit I was with him the whole time. He enjoyed himself thoroughly but skeptically. At today's visit, the teacher suggested that I let him go with her and see how he does. He shrieked, wailed, gasped, and sobbed - no matter what the distraction. I watched, sadly, painfully, from inside as he was on the playground with his teacher. I could hear him. I can still hear him. There I was trying to go one direction and my heart was being tugged so vigorously in the other. I get that this isn't Sophie's Choice. I get that parent's do this all the time. I get that this isn't a "big deal". But, Oh My Goodness, this is a killer.
How do people do this? Let go. Trust others. Believe friends when they say, "this is normal", "they all cry and then they get used to it". Oh sigh. I survived 15 minutes of his wails and rescued him. Yet, it is an obstacle I must survive so that we can all grow, learn, and become strong. I sort of prefer obstacle #6 to obstacle #5- in moderate pain but "resting" so I can just watch him a little longer, sit with him a little longer, play with him a little longer, rest with him a little longer - all the while, in moderate pain, because one day he'll have to go (home schoolin' ain't gonna happen ;)). Why do I have to run in the opposite direction if he is pulling me to him? Why oh why.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Starfish
I am a sad sight to see today as I write this blog. There is a bag of frozen berries on my shoulder. An ice pack on my right knee (the one that I don't generally wear a brace on but I guess I should start). I have been medicating today and trying not to yelp in pain when I lift my kids. The shoulder is, of course, a result of dropping my Jujus. That is a deserved injury. But why o why the knees! I am trying to better myself. Trying to be less fat so my knees hurt less. And yet, they ache. And so, I ice.
Today we ran a little less than Forrest Gump did. DI-Size0 said it was 1.5 miles. In my head I thought, "1.5 miles + what...4 miles, 5 miles"? I forgive DI-Size0 for today's torture because in my mess log she wrote "Keep it up. You can do it!" Trite, but encouraging nonetheless. We then did lunges, and squats, and starfish, oh my.
What's a starfish? Well, for marine biologists, it would be the improper way of identifying a sea star. My college roommate (also my marine biology T.A.) would always correct me and say "sea star". She was very passionate about sea creatures. Anyhow, I digress. What is a "sea star" in EB Land? Well, it is when you squat ("back high, Tina, no bending over"...well, yes it feels like I am bending over if you know what I mean) and then from the squat position LEAP into the air with arms forming a "Y"MCA above your head and so you purportedly look like a starfish. I look like a dip shit.
This particular maneuver takes my lack of gracefulness to new levels. Anyhow, we did about 700 of those. They ain't easy. Frankly, I wanted to lay on the ground like sea urchin. "Excuse me, DI-Size0, would you mind if I demonstrate a sea urchin?" Yeah, that wouldn't fly.
The good news is that since I am so bad at doing these I am never able to look around to see how everyone else is faring. My inner hope is that they are so focused on their flailing that they don't notice that I am actually doing The Freddie. Sigh. My starfish prowess needs work.
We have also had a new DI substitute in this week. He is the general manager of the franchise where I participate in EB. Let's call him DI-GM. He is pretty intense but very knowledgeable and gave me good advice on taking care of my battle scars today. He also told me this morning that I shouldn't drink coffee before EB in the morning. Every. single. day., coffee is my 5 a.m. entry in my Mess Log: "Coffee, Splenda, Sugar Free Creamer". DI-GM doesn't realize that if I don't drink coffee in the morning I will literally embrace my inner sea urchin and lay on the floor imitating the gelatinous mass that most normal people are at 5 a.m. He is such a nice guy who cares about our health and betterment - but really, no coffee. REALLY! He says I will get cramps as the workouts get intense. Um, were the workouts not intense already? Did I miss something?
Dear Readers,
I embrace the cramps. If the workouts get more intense, I want my death to be one that follows a nice cup of coffee with Splenda and sugar free creamer.
Best Regards,
Tina
The ice is melting. The coffee pot timer is on for 4:45 a.m. Go ahead, try a starfish, you know you want to.
Today we ran a little less than Forrest Gump did. DI-Size0 said it was 1.5 miles. In my head I thought, "1.5 miles + what...4 miles, 5 miles"? I forgive DI-Size0 for today's torture because in my mess log she wrote "Keep it up. You can do it!" Trite, but encouraging nonetheless. We then did lunges, and squats, and starfish, oh my.
What's a starfish? Well, for marine biologists, it would be the improper way of identifying a sea star. My college roommate (also my marine biology T.A.) would always correct me and say "sea star". She was very passionate about sea creatures. Anyhow, I digress. What is a "sea star" in EB Land? Well, it is when you squat ("back high, Tina, no bending over"...well, yes it feels like I am bending over if you know what I mean) and then from the squat position LEAP into the air with arms forming a "Y"MCA above your head and so you purportedly look like a starfish. I look like a dip shit.
This particular maneuver takes my lack of gracefulness to new levels. Anyhow, we did about 700 of those. They ain't easy. Frankly, I wanted to lay on the ground like sea urchin. "Excuse me, DI-Size0, would you mind if I demonstrate a sea urchin?" Yeah, that wouldn't fly.
The good news is that since I am so bad at doing these I am never able to look around to see how everyone else is faring. My inner hope is that they are so focused on their flailing that they don't notice that I am actually doing The Freddie. Sigh. My starfish prowess needs work.
We have also had a new DI substitute in this week. He is the general manager of the franchise where I participate in EB. Let's call him DI-GM. He is pretty intense but very knowledgeable and gave me good advice on taking care of my battle scars today. He also told me this morning that I shouldn't drink coffee before EB in the morning. Every. single. day., coffee is my 5 a.m. entry in my Mess Log: "Coffee, Splenda, Sugar Free Creamer". DI-GM doesn't realize that if I don't drink coffee in the morning I will literally embrace my inner sea urchin and lay on the floor imitating the gelatinous mass that most normal people are at 5 a.m. He is such a nice guy who cares about our health and betterment - but really, no coffee. REALLY! He says I will get cramps as the workouts get intense. Um, were the workouts not intense already? Did I miss something?
Dear Readers,
I embrace the cramps. If the workouts get more intense, I want my death to be one that follows a nice cup of coffee with Splenda and sugar free creamer.
Best Regards,
Tina
The ice is melting. The coffee pot timer is on for 4:45 a.m. Go ahead, try a starfish, you know you want to.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Drops
What a great day today started out to be! A fab day. I survived EB. I ran and felt like I picked up the pace a bit - I lumbered to the finish line without feeling like a collapse was imminent. Good day. In the grand scheme, today still is a good day. Everyone is healthy (knocking on wood). Work is plentiful. However, as the day wore on my elation (and apparently "runner's high") seemed to take a few significant drops.
I cheerily left EB today and got a little mixed up on how to get home - after all it was still 6:30 a.m. in my brain. I am generally directionally challenged - in the wee hours when I can't wake up J, I am really really challenged. When I finally realized my way by noting some landmarks, my cheer apparently went straight to my foot and before I hit 52 mph, I saw the flashing lights. This is my second speeding ticket in 6 months. Traffic school is not an option. Drop 1.
Then, I dropped my kid. Yep, you read it right. I literally DROPPED MY KID. I was holding Juju, all 28 pounds of love, cheer, and soft rolls. I was going to put him in his Bumbo. Ah, the life saving baby sitting (literally, and figuratively) powers of the Bumbo. And I stepped on one of his toys. Not just any toy. One with fuschia plastic spikes. It is supposed to light up but only lit up for one day and never lit up again (piece of s**t). Anyhow, as it impaled my heel, I gained my balance for a moment only to step on another toy. At this point, I was not savable. I was trying to save my kid. I pretty much almost dislocated my shoulder trying to save him and then, I couldn't. I fell. He fell and hit his head on my other babysitter. And then, the crying began. Mine and his. I dropped my kid. This moment comprised the biggest drop of the day...literally, and figuratively.
I soothed him. I could not, however, soothe me. Ah, grace is not my strength.
Other things happened today: (1) my order for "healthmex" chicken tacos was enveloped by gnarly corn tortillas which make me gag (I said FLOUR people!); (2) I nailed my ankle on the corner of my desk; and (3) a prospective client called who wanted a contingency (free) attorney and ate up more time than I'd like to admit. These things are sort of stupid and pale in comparison to the fact that I dropped my kid.
At the end of the day, like most families, we have the nightly ritual consisting of bath, bottle (for the lil ones), books (for the big one), and bed. This time is hectic but I love it because it is the time of the day where I really have the time and presence of mind to look at my boys and take them all in and eat up their adorable yumminess and funniness. I love bath time. Today, my dropped child, Mr. Jujo. Mr. Mellow with his rolls galore, double chins, drool, fat feet, one tooth, long hair...he gazed up at me with his wonderful smile. His little chunky leg was draped outside of the blue plastic bathtub and he just stared and smiled. He was happy to be hanging out, as was I.
It's just so great - I just dropped this poor kid. But he wasn't holding a grudge...he just was loving life, loving me. No consequence for my clumsiness, for dropping the ball. I wish that the cop just looked at me and said, "hey you dropped the ball but hey, here's another chance do it right". Sparkly smile, tip of hat, gone.
But, at the end of the day, the real drop was forgiven. Wrongs are not often without consequence. I do have my ticket and fine, after all. I am glad that I could have a drop today without consequence. It was beyond not having a consequence - I had a reward. I still have that little bundle of love and adoring squishiness smiling at me, chuckling with me. It could have been a lot worse. But I am so thankful it wasn't. In the grand scheme, the drops today did not matter. Maybe, it was not such a bad day after all.
I cheerily left EB today and got a little mixed up on how to get home - after all it was still 6:30 a.m. in my brain. I am generally directionally challenged - in the wee hours when I can't wake up J, I am really really challenged. When I finally realized my way by noting some landmarks, my cheer apparently went straight to my foot and before I hit 52 mph, I saw the flashing lights. This is my second speeding ticket in 6 months. Traffic school is not an option. Drop 1.
Then, I dropped my kid. Yep, you read it right. I literally DROPPED MY KID. I was holding Juju, all 28 pounds of love, cheer, and soft rolls. I was going to put him in his Bumbo. Ah, the life saving baby sitting (literally, and figuratively) powers of the Bumbo. And I stepped on one of his toys. Not just any toy. One with fuschia plastic spikes. It is supposed to light up but only lit up for one day and never lit up again (piece of s**t). Anyhow, as it impaled my heel, I gained my balance for a moment only to step on another toy. At this point, I was not savable. I was trying to save my kid. I pretty much almost dislocated my shoulder trying to save him and then, I couldn't. I fell. He fell and hit his head on my other babysitter. And then, the crying began. Mine and his. I dropped my kid. This moment comprised the biggest drop of the day...literally, and figuratively.
I soothed him. I could not, however, soothe me. Ah, grace is not my strength.
Other things happened today: (1) my order for "healthmex" chicken tacos was enveloped by gnarly corn tortillas which make me gag (I said FLOUR people!); (2) I nailed my ankle on the corner of my desk; and (3) a prospective client called who wanted a contingency (free) attorney and ate up more time than I'd like to admit. These things are sort of stupid and pale in comparison to the fact that I dropped my kid.
At the end of the day, like most families, we have the nightly ritual consisting of bath, bottle (for the lil ones), books (for the big one), and bed. This time is hectic but I love it because it is the time of the day where I really have the time and presence of mind to look at my boys and take them all in and eat up their adorable yumminess and funniness. I love bath time. Today, my dropped child, Mr. Jujo. Mr. Mellow with his rolls galore, double chins, drool, fat feet, one tooth, long hair...he gazed up at me with his wonderful smile. His little chunky leg was draped outside of the blue plastic bathtub and he just stared and smiled. He was happy to be hanging out, as was I.
It's just so great - I just dropped this poor kid. But he wasn't holding a grudge...he just was loving life, loving me. No consequence for my clumsiness, for dropping the ball. I wish that the cop just looked at me and said, "hey you dropped the ball but hey, here's another chance do it right". Sparkly smile, tip of hat, gone.
But, at the end of the day, the real drop was forgiven. Wrongs are not often without consequence. I do have my ticket and fine, after all. I am glad that I could have a drop today without consequence. It was beyond not having a consequence - I had a reward. I still have that little bundle of love and adoring squishiness smiling at me, chuckling with me. It could have been a lot worse. But I am so thankful it wasn't. In the grand scheme, the drops today did not matter. Maybe, it was not such a bad day after all.
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