Before I started my own practice a few years ago, I used to work for a law firm that was located on Sunset Boulevard. I will always think fondly of the partner I worked for. He taught me so much. He took me under his wing. He had a personality larger than life. If I could network like he did, I'd be rad. He could work a room. He could order food. He could seriously order wine and port. I had fun working with him. And even though we had rough times and things could have ended rosier, I will always think back on that time at that firm as a good one. I always wish him well even though I sort of hated when my checks bounced.
It is so funny. I was so crazy to leave that big downtown law firm to follow him to this random office on Sunset in West Hollywood. It was a good crazy, but still, I am sure that some questioned my judgment. Seriously. The office was bad. The light bulb in the bathroom, never worked. I often peed in the dark hoping the seedier element of town wouldn't walk in on me and ask to use the toilet as well. The chairs were old and orange and may have been picked out by Ralph Furley himself. It was a mess. Paper everywhere. I crave cleanliness and organization and I was surrounded by the pit of despair on steroids. The office below us was a gun shop - perfect for our clients to go pick up something special for us after getting our bills.
I did some demeaning tasks that someone who went to law school should have never done (even though I got paid handsomely for it). And no, going through boxes of discovery (a normal associate task) was not one of them. I remember once, sitting in his car, so his phone could charge. I had to SIT in the car, alone, not working, and getting paid, to phone sit? I also did more things that made by blood boil than I could list here. But I had to do stuff like wait until the last minute to do anything because I was at the mercy of someone who was a procrastinator with ADHD. I am NOT a procrastinator. I do things so that I have time to spare and have time to have the shit hit the fan and time to correct it and laugh about it. So, I would sit and wait, drumming my fingers, for his blessing until the very last moment or be working until the very last second- making my blood pressure actually go up incrementally until I turned colors like red and purple. Oh the inefficiency, oh the mess.
I also swore off the Blackberry after my stint there. The blinking red light telling me about emails was maddening and addictive. I'd get up in the middle of the night to read crazy emails about what I needed to do. Though it was great training for having a brood of babies, sleep would have been better. Wow, it seems like a lifetime ago.
On the other hand, the cool thing about working on Sunset was all the amazing restaurants just 5 minutes away (or 15 minutes I guess if you are driving on Sunset). We ate soooo much good food that year. We would go for these crazy long lunches at places like The Standard. We would eat many courses and a drink with each course. We'd go for Indian food or Korean BBQ. Oh, the yumminess.
Today, I met up with a client I had never met before at a restaurant we (a former co-worker and I) used to go to often. It was so strange being there again. West Hollywood is now a weird foreign place to me. I am getting very used to Pomona and it is a sickening, sad thing. In Pomona, no one looks like the people do there. It's pretty simple, pretty mellow. The really crazy stuff is usually on a tattoo. The holes in clothes are not put there by a designer but by wear. On Sunset, people are all accessorized with extra large furry purses, skinny jeans (men and women), hats not caps. So strange. I felt like an alien there. I was so very two years ago's Banana Republic in a sea of yesterday's Next Top Model. I don't remember feeling like an alien before but I don't think I have changed much so I must have been an alien then. But, people were so stylish and fa-la-la. Men with their cool shades. Men not in suits, not working, on a Thursday? Women lunching. People eating outside in the sun on patios. It was odd. Sunset is now an alternate universe. When did Sunset become an alternate universe? Sigh.
I am glad to be home somehow today, even though my home is in Pomona. After sitting in traffic up there, inching up and down Sunset. How did I used to do that commute? How did I sit on Sunset? How did I work for someone else? Bleck. I'll never go back. Being the one in charge of my own destiny, albeit with my husband and partner, is much more liberating than it is constrictive. I love this life. That life, although it was wonderful and so full of learning life's hard lessons, was nothing I'd ever go back to. No regrets, just no wish to return. I like here and now.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
In Response to Dr. Laura
Yesterday I blogged about Dr. Laura's new book. She may have left an anonymous comment but I think it is worth exploring even if it isn't her. I left the following comment in my comments but am posting here as well.
***
To Anonymous/Dr. Schlessinger:
If you are Dr. Laura, which I doubt a little, I appreciate that you took the time to comment. However, I respectfully disagree with you. If you are not Dr. Laura, then well, I disagree with you too and the comment below will still be relevant.
In your comment you indicate that you are sad that "some women" are willing to believe that hired help can replace motherly love. Frankly, I do not believe that nor is that expressed in my post. Motherly love is not replaceable. With that said, that does not mean a mother loves her children less or is less loving if she has other commitments.
I also never diminish SAHMs in any way in my post, in fact, I do the opposite. I do not think my decision to work or have “hired help” diminishes the role of other mothers and I have a tough time making that leap in your reasoning. I do, however, wholeheartedly believe that women make choices that are best for themselves and their families and that those choices each have value and can result in happy children, happy families, and happy homes.
I understand that your popularity is based on having somewhat controversial and conservative opinions. And so, of course, people will disagree with you and you are “paid” for having opinions that rub people the wrong way. After having listened to you and knowing your opinion on various issues, I know that I generally disagree with you.
But, I do think it is not necessary or appropriate to insult or put down working women because you do not think Moms should work. You can have an opinion, a strong one even, without berating those who you feel are a scourge on society.
I will tell you that I have read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, given to me by my mother (a fabulous SAHM) shortly after I was married. I am capable of reading any books, including yours, with an open mind and heart. I cannot say I agreed with your entire book. I also cannot say I disagreed with all of it. But, I read it and absorbed it.
Some people are able to read analytically and make relevant comments that actually respond to what they have read without being completely wedded to their own belief system and ideology. If you like, send me your book and I will read it, open mind, open heart, and in the spirit of reading the work of another working woman with whom I disagree, and I will comment. My e-mail address is losingmylap at gmail dot com. I will send you my mailing address when I get an e-mail from you.
Warmly,
Tina L.
A Mother and Working
***
To Anonymous/Dr. Schlessinger:
If you are Dr. Laura, which I doubt a little, I appreciate that you took the time to comment. However, I respectfully disagree with you. If you are not Dr. Laura, then well, I disagree with you too and the comment below will still be relevant.
In your comment you indicate that you are sad that "some women" are willing to believe that hired help can replace motherly love. Frankly, I do not believe that nor is that expressed in my post. Motherly love is not replaceable. With that said, that does not mean a mother loves her children less or is less loving if she has other commitments.
I also never diminish SAHMs in any way in my post, in fact, I do the opposite. I do not think my decision to work or have “hired help” diminishes the role of other mothers and I have a tough time making that leap in your reasoning. I do, however, wholeheartedly believe that women make choices that are best for themselves and their families and that those choices each have value and can result in happy children, happy families, and happy homes.
I understand that your popularity is based on having somewhat controversial and conservative opinions. And so, of course, people will disagree with you and you are “paid” for having opinions that rub people the wrong way. After having listened to you and knowing your opinion on various issues, I know that I generally disagree with you.
But, I do think it is not necessary or appropriate to insult or put down working women because you do not think Moms should work. You can have an opinion, a strong one even, without berating those who you feel are a scourge on society.
I will tell you that I have read your book, “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands”, given to me by my mother (a fabulous SAHM) shortly after I was married. I am capable of reading any books, including yours, with an open mind and heart. I cannot say I agreed with your entire book. I also cannot say I disagreed with all of it. But, I read it and absorbed it.
Some people are able to read analytically and make relevant comments that actually respond to what they have read without being completely wedded to their own belief system and ideology. If you like, send me your book and I will read it, open mind, open heart, and in the spirit of reading the work of another working woman with whom I disagree, and I will comment. My e-mail address is losingmylap at gmail dot com. I will send you my mailing address when I get an e-mail from you.
Warmly,
Tina L.
A Mother and Working
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
In Praise of SAHMs
Dr. Laura just came out with a new book entitled "In Praise of Stay-At-Home Moms".
I won't read this book unless I am in a torture chamber with only this book to keep me amused as I wait for my torturers. However, I would like to comment on a few quotes, even if it may be out of context.
Just to start, I want to say that stay at home Moms (SAHMs) are amazing. I have all the respect in the world for SAHMs. My mom stayed at home. My two sisters in law stay at home. I have witnessed the magic of being a stay at home mom. Seriously, I know that I could not do it. I can BARELY survive the weekend with my children. Poor Dr. Laura would probably shake her head at the selfishness of me. But honestly, it's not that I can't stay home with my kids. I don't want to. I truly don't believe that I would offer my kids the best version of me if I was at home all the time. Don't get me wrong. I love them. I am crazy about them. But, I couldn't stay home with them 24-7. I would do myself and as a result, them, a huge disservice.
Dr. L says:
"My heart hurts for what these women miss and what their children miss from them,” Dr. Laura tells the Wall Street Journal. “No argument, no criticism. My heart just hurts — because when you get those pudgy arms around your neck, and being told you’re someone’s lullaby — the fact that a woman would miss that is so, so sad."
Tina says:
I think that it is not really a fair comment to say that a woman who works doesn't get pudgy arms wrapped around her and sweet comments. I think it is fairly ridiculous to say that working women miss that. I don't miss that. I get it all the time. Our children love and give us affection too, even though we work. Amazing. We still deserve love even though we have abandoned our children with someone else. Sigh.
Dr. L says:
"One thing I’ve been happy as peach pie about — because I’m all about the children and the happiness of a woman because that makes the happiness of the home — is that nannies, day cares and babysitters are all collapsing, which is forcing moms and dads to raise their children at home…. A home should be more than just a place to park yourself after a frenzied day of too much work. So even though there’s less cash, people seem to be happier."
Tina says:
Where to begin, where to begin? If she is ALL ABOUT the happiness of a woman and that making the happiness of the home, then what if WORK makes a woman happy too? What if staying at home with 3 kids is actually completely frenzied and a day at work is actually calm, peaceful, and regenerative? What if a day at home is completely exhausting sucking every last bit of happiness from a Mom? How about if a day at work brings a Mom home who is ready to spend really great quality time with her kids?
Honestly, I know a SAHM who seriously barely smiles. She never has ANYTHING good to say about being at home. I never knew her to be a working woman necessarily but she pretty much seems miserable. She complains about all the things that are supposedly so fulfilling about being a SAHM. Is she so happy because she is a SAHM? Are her kids happier for it? Will her kids look at her one day and say, "boy I am glad my mom stayed home because she never seemed happy to be there?" She seems tired. She seems more tired than I ever have after a day at work.
Maybe people aren't happier because there is less cash? Maybe people are happier because they are realizing that cash isn't everything? If you look around and you see healthy kids, a home, a job, then you are happy.
And finally, Dear Dr. Laura says:
"I tell these women to look in their children’s eyes. When your husband comes home, wrap your body around him at the door and look at his eyes. What people need to learn is that it’s not about the drudgery of housework — it’s about being at home for all of those incredible moments that make your life more valuable than the person who replaced you at work. No one can replace mom. Kids who don’t have moms suffer a lifetime."
Tina says:
Yes, kids who don't have moms probably do suffer a life time. But lady, I ain't DEAD. I am here. Right here. Hello. Is she CRAZY? I am home for incredible moments. I am sure I miss stuff but I also see a lot. My life is valuable even though I do work. I am sure I have value to my clients. I am sure that I could be replaced easily but that doesn't mean that my work has no value. I am valuable because I am a Mom and an attorney. I think giving up being an attorney so that I could be a mom could actually make me less valuable.
***
With that said, I obviously don't agree with Dr. Laura. I think that each mother makes a choice and that most mothers (except for the certifiable) honestly do what is best for their families, whatever that may be. There is incredible value offered to children who have Moms who stay at home to be their Moms full time. However, there is incredible value for these kids whose Moms choose to work. To make blanket statements and accuse women of choosing money over their children (no matter the sacrifice) is shallow.
It sort of angers me to think of some SAHM reading Laura's book in a red state somewhere nodding her head in approval of each sentence and mocking my existence. Bleck. But, the 1st amendment being what it is, I will live with this book existing because the quid pro quo for that is I can say that I hate its premise here on this blog.
OK, now I am going to go bury my head in the fat rolls of my kids, smell their rosy cheeks, listen to the hearty laughs and gurgles, and wrap my body around my husband. I do that too.
God help us, every one.
I won't read this book unless I am in a torture chamber with only this book to keep me amused as I wait for my torturers. However, I would like to comment on a few quotes, even if it may be out of context.
Just to start, I want to say that stay at home Moms (SAHMs) are amazing. I have all the respect in the world for SAHMs. My mom stayed at home. My two sisters in law stay at home. I have witnessed the magic of being a stay at home mom. Seriously, I know that I could not do it. I can BARELY survive the weekend with my children. Poor Dr. Laura would probably shake her head at the selfishness of me. But honestly, it's not that I can't stay home with my kids. I don't want to. I truly don't believe that I would offer my kids the best version of me if I was at home all the time. Don't get me wrong. I love them. I am crazy about them. But, I couldn't stay home with them 24-7. I would do myself and as a result, them, a huge disservice.
Dr. L says:
"My heart hurts for what these women miss and what their children miss from them,” Dr. Laura tells the Wall Street Journal. “No argument, no criticism. My heart just hurts — because when you get those pudgy arms around your neck, and being told you’re someone’s lullaby — the fact that a woman would miss that is so, so sad."
Tina says:
I think that it is not really a fair comment to say that a woman who works doesn't get pudgy arms wrapped around her and sweet comments. I think it is fairly ridiculous to say that working women miss that. I don't miss that. I get it all the time. Our children love and give us affection too, even though we work. Amazing. We still deserve love even though we have abandoned our children with someone else. Sigh.
Dr. L says:
"One thing I’ve been happy as peach pie about — because I’m all about the children and the happiness of a woman because that makes the happiness of the home — is that nannies, day cares and babysitters are all collapsing, which is forcing moms and dads to raise their children at home…. A home should be more than just a place to park yourself after a frenzied day of too much work. So even though there’s less cash, people seem to be happier."
Tina says:
Where to begin, where to begin? If she is ALL ABOUT the happiness of a woman and that making the happiness of the home, then what if WORK makes a woman happy too? What if staying at home with 3 kids is actually completely frenzied and a day at work is actually calm, peaceful, and regenerative? What if a day at home is completely exhausting sucking every last bit of happiness from a Mom? How about if a day at work brings a Mom home who is ready to spend really great quality time with her kids?
Honestly, I know a SAHM who seriously barely smiles. She never has ANYTHING good to say about being at home. I never knew her to be a working woman necessarily but she pretty much seems miserable. She complains about all the things that are supposedly so fulfilling about being a SAHM. Is she so happy because she is a SAHM? Are her kids happier for it? Will her kids look at her one day and say, "boy I am glad my mom stayed home because she never seemed happy to be there?" She seems tired. She seems more tired than I ever have after a day at work.
Maybe people aren't happier because there is less cash? Maybe people are happier because they are realizing that cash isn't everything? If you look around and you see healthy kids, a home, a job, then you are happy.
And finally, Dear Dr. Laura says:
"I tell these women to look in their children’s eyes. When your husband comes home, wrap your body around him at the door and look at his eyes. What people need to learn is that it’s not about the drudgery of housework — it’s about being at home for all of those incredible moments that make your life more valuable than the person who replaced you at work. No one can replace mom. Kids who don’t have moms suffer a lifetime."
Tina says:
Yes, kids who don't have moms probably do suffer a life time. But lady, I ain't DEAD. I am here. Right here. Hello. Is she CRAZY? I am home for incredible moments. I am sure I miss stuff but I also see a lot. My life is valuable even though I do work. I am sure I have value to my clients. I am sure that I could be replaced easily but that doesn't mean that my work has no value. I am valuable because I am a Mom and an attorney. I think giving up being an attorney so that I could be a mom could actually make me less valuable.
***
With that said, I obviously don't agree with Dr. Laura. I think that each mother makes a choice and that most mothers (except for the certifiable) honestly do what is best for their families, whatever that may be. There is incredible value offered to children who have Moms who stay at home to be their Moms full time. However, there is incredible value for these kids whose Moms choose to work. To make blanket statements and accuse women of choosing money over their children (no matter the sacrifice) is shallow.
It sort of angers me to think of some SAHM reading Laura's book in a red state somewhere nodding her head in approval of each sentence and mocking my existence. Bleck. But, the 1st amendment being what it is, I will live with this book existing because the quid pro quo for that is I can say that I hate its premise here on this blog.
OK, now I am going to go bury my head in the fat rolls of my kids, smell their rosy cheeks, listen to the hearty laughs and gurgles, and wrap my body around my husband. I do that too.
God help us, every one.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Breastfeeding is Nonsense
I am so tired of women thinking they "should" or "have to" breastfeed. You don't. Your boobies are yours. Your husband doesn't get to decide. They really aren't his boobies (even if he likes to think so). The doctors and nurses don't live with you. They don't get to decide whether this is good for you and your family.
OK. Yes, yes, it is "better" for your child. Better how? Immunity bla bla bla. OK. Great. Now, what is really better for the child? A more patient, slightly better rested mother. A full stomach. A father who can also bond with the child during feedings. I think those sound like good things too.
There is this huge movement in hospitals and by nurses that breastfeeding is soooo great, Rah! Rah! But, seriously, they need to LAY OFF. For example, when I had Lulo, they used to give formula samples at the hospital AND teach about breastfeeding. When I had the twins, they stopped giving out formula because it "encouraged formula feeding" which is not appropriate. What? You'd think that formula is code for poison. Oh, nice point. Thank you for lobbying the hospitals. Damn La Leche.
I personally take an affront to La Leche and all women who crazily support breastfeeding. Seriously, get over yourselves ladies. You aren't a better Mom because you breastfed and mothers who don't breastfeed aren't worse mothers. Breastfeeding and all the hype is a hoax. Keep your sanity, love your child AND yourself, don't breastfeed. Leave tired Moms alone. Not breastfeeding is a valid choice.
OK. Yes, yes, it is "better" for your child. Better how? Immunity bla bla bla. OK. Great. Now, what is really better for the child? A more patient, slightly better rested mother. A full stomach. A father who can also bond with the child during feedings. I think those sound like good things too.
There is this huge movement in hospitals and by nurses that breastfeeding is soooo great, Rah! Rah! But, seriously, they need to LAY OFF. For example, when I had Lulo, they used to give formula samples at the hospital AND teach about breastfeeding. When I had the twins, they stopped giving out formula because it "encouraged formula feeding" which is not appropriate. What? You'd think that formula is code for poison. Oh, nice point. Thank you for lobbying the hospitals. Damn La Leche.
I personally take an affront to La Leche and all women who crazily support breastfeeding. Seriously, get over yourselves ladies. You aren't a better Mom because you breastfed and mothers who don't breastfeed aren't worse mothers. Breastfeeding and all the hype is a hoax. Keep your sanity, love your child AND yourself, don't breastfeed. Leave tired Moms alone. Not breastfeeding is a valid choice.
Foreigners.
I am a first-generation American. This means that both my parents were not born here.
J is a 1.5 generation American. In his case, it means that he was not born here but he came in his childhood or early teens. J was 10.
There are many funny effects of being born to parents whose first language isn't English but I will always have problems with cliches and idioms and stuff like that. My parents speak great English. No problems there. But, English grammar wasn't my strength and still isn't.
The only reason I am writing about this is because I have been loving some of J's English moments lately and I wanted to share.
When he sings Old MacDonald to the kids he sings:
Old MacDonald Had a Farm
He-Hi-He-Hi-Hoooo.
I don't know why but that makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME. HE HI HO!? HA HA HA. And I tell him, J, "it is E I E I O". And he goes, "well not when I sing it, these are the new words." But the good news is that Lulo is teaching J the alphabet. Oh, my poor kids and how they will be teased.
And J says foil paper (instead of foil), towel papers instead of paper towels, ufolstery instead of upholstery. Anyway, I know this is not that interesting but I think his little word things are funny and I wonder what our kids will say to their teachers which will cause eyebrow furrowing.
I guess all of this is coming to my head because this time of the year I always sort of chuckle at some little cultural things that I remember from being a kid. I am Greek Orthodox (or at least I was before I was excommunicated for marrying outside of my church). Anywho, I am Greek Orthodox and our Easter is usually not on the same day as Easter in most other Christian churches. Our Easter is NEXT Sunday. And when we "fast" for Lent, we don't just give up jelly beans or booze or chocolate, we give up anything that originates from an animal - so eggs, milk, cheese, milk, fish, chicken, beef, and the things that those things make up. We also don't eat or drink on Good Friday (from sun up to sun down). But when I was growing up, we usually broke the fast at 6:00. So, yum. Seriously. I will do the Good Friday starvation this year (which should be interesting after EB) but unfortunately I won't get the yummy goodness that was my mother's breaking the fast on Good Friday dinner. I can smell it now in my memory and it is Monday and I live 45 minutes away.
I didn't fast this year and I usually fast for only 1-2 weeks of the 40 days. My parents do all 40 days. I couldn't do it this year because I couldn't wrap my head around doing Weight Watchers and fasting. Too much. Plus, it just felt too crazy this year. Duh, it will every year. But, I just couldn't.
But I remember the fasting weeks in grammar school. I would take crazy sandwiches to school - like fava beans in pita bread or halvah in pita bread or falafel in pita bread. Bread, bread, bread. Always had to have pita bread. Deep freezer full of pita bread. Oh yum. I want me some of that now. Because my Mom is Greek, it was sort of similar to the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding when the kids mocked poor Voula for eating "moose caca" or Mousaka (yummy eggplant joy!). I don't remember being mocked for the food - probably because they were too busy mocking my nose or my hairy legs (because my Mom didn't let me shave until I was starting to look like an ape). But, whatever.
I started my second session of EB this morning. It was nice not having it be my first session. It was fun seeing all the newbies getting there. Honestly, I didn't have a chance to see if they were ALREADY kicking my ass on their first day because I was too focused on keeping up. But, I did fine. It was a fairly large group for 5:30 a.m. I hope it sticks and some people stick around. It can only be more fun with more people, right? More personalities? Hmmm.
I did great on my run. I was terrified that my timed mile would somehow be slower than the last one I did before our week off. But, it wasn't. I came in at 10 minutes, 39 seconds. Not bad. My goal is to come down to a 10 minute mile, consistently. When I told my over-achiever husband that he said, "you know you really should be doing like a 7 minute mile." What? In what universe? I couldn't do that when I was 16. Anyhow, he is special. He is going to be polishing his Husband of the Year trophy the next couple days so hopefully I won't be getting any more of those kinds of comments.
WW is going fine. I am a little hungry but I'll live. Right now, I sort of want some pita bread with fasting stuff inside. I love fasting food. I wish I was at home with my Mama and we were eating some yummy fasting food.
I also could use a good laugh. But, I know how I can have a good laugh - he, hi, he, hi, hoooooooooo. ho. ho. ho. Yep that did it.
J is a 1.5 generation American. In his case, it means that he was not born here but he came in his childhood or early teens. J was 10.
There are many funny effects of being born to parents whose first language isn't English but I will always have problems with cliches and idioms and stuff like that. My parents speak great English. No problems there. But, English grammar wasn't my strength and still isn't.
The only reason I am writing about this is because I have been loving some of J's English moments lately and I wanted to share.
When he sings Old MacDonald to the kids he sings:
Old MacDonald Had a Farm
He-Hi-He-Hi-Hoooo.
I don't know why but that makes me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME. HE HI HO!? HA HA HA. And I tell him, J, "it is E I E I O". And he goes, "well not when I sing it, these are the new words." But the good news is that Lulo is teaching J the alphabet. Oh, my poor kids and how they will be teased.
And J says foil paper (instead of foil), towel papers instead of paper towels, ufolstery instead of upholstery. Anyway, I know this is not that interesting but I think his little word things are funny and I wonder what our kids will say to their teachers which will cause eyebrow furrowing.
I guess all of this is coming to my head because this time of the year I always sort of chuckle at some little cultural things that I remember from being a kid. I am Greek Orthodox (or at least I was before I was excommunicated for marrying outside of my church). Anywho, I am Greek Orthodox and our Easter is usually not on the same day as Easter in most other Christian churches. Our Easter is NEXT Sunday. And when we "fast" for Lent, we don't just give up jelly beans or booze or chocolate, we give up anything that originates from an animal - so eggs, milk, cheese, milk, fish, chicken, beef, and the things that those things make up. We also don't eat or drink on Good Friday (from sun up to sun down). But when I was growing up, we usually broke the fast at 6:00. So, yum. Seriously. I will do the Good Friday starvation this year (which should be interesting after EB) but unfortunately I won't get the yummy goodness that was my mother's breaking the fast on Good Friday dinner. I can smell it now in my memory and it is Monday and I live 45 minutes away.
I didn't fast this year and I usually fast for only 1-2 weeks of the 40 days. My parents do all 40 days. I couldn't do it this year because I couldn't wrap my head around doing Weight Watchers and fasting. Too much. Plus, it just felt too crazy this year. Duh, it will every year. But, I just couldn't.
But I remember the fasting weeks in grammar school. I would take crazy sandwiches to school - like fava beans in pita bread or halvah in pita bread or falafel in pita bread. Bread, bread, bread. Always had to have pita bread. Deep freezer full of pita bread. Oh yum. I want me some of that now. Because my Mom is Greek, it was sort of similar to the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding when the kids mocked poor Voula for eating "moose caca" or Mousaka (yummy eggplant joy!). I don't remember being mocked for the food - probably because they were too busy mocking my nose or my hairy legs (because my Mom didn't let me shave until I was starting to look like an ape). But, whatever.
I started my second session of EB this morning. It was nice not having it be my first session. It was fun seeing all the newbies getting there. Honestly, I didn't have a chance to see if they were ALREADY kicking my ass on their first day because I was too focused on keeping up. But, I did fine. It was a fairly large group for 5:30 a.m. I hope it sticks and some people stick around. It can only be more fun with more people, right? More personalities? Hmmm.
I did great on my run. I was terrified that my timed mile would somehow be slower than the last one I did before our week off. But, it wasn't. I came in at 10 minutes, 39 seconds. Not bad. My goal is to come down to a 10 minute mile, consistently. When I told my over-achiever husband that he said, "you know you really should be doing like a 7 minute mile." What? In what universe? I couldn't do that when I was 16. Anyhow, he is special. He is going to be polishing his Husband of the Year trophy the next couple days so hopefully I won't be getting any more of those kinds of comments.
WW is going fine. I am a little hungry but I'll live. Right now, I sort of want some pita bread with fasting stuff inside. I love fasting food. I wish I was at home with my Mama and we were eating some yummy fasting food.
I also could use a good laugh. But, I know how I can have a good laugh - he, hi, he, hi, hoooooooooo. ho. ho. ho. Yep that did it.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Woohoo
Woohoo.
This week, sadly, I was sick. This is why there was an utter lack of blog posts. My body patiently waited. It eeked out little glimpses of sore throats and the like so that that MOMENT that EB was over I would be attacked by the viral plague. I lost all the weight I wanted to lose during EB this week. Ha ha. Oh, EB, you should incorporate a little viral love into your classes - it does the body good.
No seriously though, I love that line in that movie The Devil Wears Prada when Emily Blunt says "I am just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." That's me. Except, I think I am 4 stomach flus away. Anywho.
I survived. Woohoo. Rocky Theme Song please.
Tuesday night it fell over me and it has pretty much had me out for the count all week. I didn't work on Wednesday. Fever, Chills, Sweating, Barfing. On, Thursday I checked e-mails and returned a few calls. Lulo decided that on Thursday he really needed to be close to me. Spend more time with me. I thought that was great. I have so much love to give when I want to die. On Thursday night, I massaged my swollen glands and kept taking my Tylenol every four hours. Today, Friday, I am functioning. I worked, put on makeup, did stuff, but I am probably only at 60%. I think that most Moms function well at 60% so I am doing GREAT!
Woohoo.
Really, I am sure my Mom got sick when we were growing up but honestly, I never remember her taking a time out. I had some serious nanny adoration this week because I couldn't move. And I SOOOO didn't want to infect my kids. So I kept as much distance as I could, washed my hands until they started peeling (literally), and used Purell like it was going out of style.
As I am thinking about mi amor, Purell, let me digress into a topic that makes me seethe. Just for a moment. Humor me. PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE. DO NOT TAKE YOUR SICK SICK KIDS OUT IN PUBLIC TO TOUCH STUFF? Seriously, what is your problem? Don't bring sick kids to parties. Don't bring them to play dates. Don't take them places where there are other kids. Skip Gymboree. If they have a temperature, they are contagious. Eat the cost of daycare that day. DON'T DO IT, don't even think it. It is disrespectful and rude. Believe it or not, I learned a couple of things when I was a Microbiology TA at LMU (Woot Woot Go Lions), let me dumb it down, when your kid (or anyone) is sick and snotting and tearing ALL OVER THE PLACE and HACKING all over the place, there are little morsels of snot and fluids and tears that get everywhere.
Everywhere. The kids' hands, clothes, shoes, hair. EVERYWHERE. Then it gets on STUFF. Then it gets on other peoples kids. Honestly, just because you can't see snot or smell snot IT IS THERE. Would you, for example, take your kid's diarrhea put it on their HANDS and let them run around the mall/a party/Gymboree etc.? No. So, why? Why snot? STOP. It is rude. STOP. It's not just about you. It's not about getting some time outside and letting the kids burn off energy. If you MUST get outside, like IT IS NECESSARY, like the PHARMACY and you are all alone with no nanny/babysitter/father/grandmother and someone has to go. Then keep your kid close, carry Purell, use the Purell. Don't be gross. Don't let your kid proceed to lick the chairs, the pens, the boxes, the aisles, door handles. Keep them CLOSE. If you MUST go somewhere friend/family or someone is COMING OVER, then TELL THE PEOPLE so they know! Don't just wait until later when they pick up the kid to share that your offspring had some communicative disease. It's not cool.
Oh, I know the eye rolling mothers right now who think:
1. I am crazy.
2. Kids get sick.
3. I am overprotective.
4. I have psychological issues that require assistance.
That's fine. Think it. Yeah, kids get sick. It is flu season. But, help a sister out. Damn. Don't make me feel bad for protecting my kids. You should do the same damn thing.
Woohoo. OK. I feel better.
This week, sadly, I was sick. This is why there was an utter lack of blog posts. My body patiently waited. It eeked out little glimpses of sore throats and the like so that that MOMENT that EB was over I would be attacked by the viral plague. I lost all the weight I wanted to lose during EB this week. Ha ha. Oh, EB, you should incorporate a little viral love into your classes - it does the body good.
No seriously though, I love that line in that movie The Devil Wears Prada when Emily Blunt says "I am just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." That's me. Except, I think I am 4 stomach flus away. Anywho.
I survived. Woohoo. Rocky Theme Song please.
Tuesday night it fell over me and it has pretty much had me out for the count all week. I didn't work on Wednesday. Fever, Chills, Sweating, Barfing. On, Thursday I checked e-mails and returned a few calls. Lulo decided that on Thursday he really needed to be close to me. Spend more time with me. I thought that was great. I have so much love to give when I want to die. On Thursday night, I massaged my swollen glands and kept taking my Tylenol every four hours. Today, Friday, I am functioning. I worked, put on makeup, did stuff, but I am probably only at 60%. I think that most Moms function well at 60% so I am doing GREAT!
Woohoo.
Really, I am sure my Mom got sick when we were growing up but honestly, I never remember her taking a time out. I had some serious nanny adoration this week because I couldn't move. And I SOOOO didn't want to infect my kids. So I kept as much distance as I could, washed my hands until they started peeling (literally), and used Purell like it was going out of style.
As I am thinking about mi amor, Purell, let me digress into a topic that makes me seethe. Just for a moment. Humor me. PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE. DO NOT TAKE YOUR SICK SICK KIDS OUT IN PUBLIC TO TOUCH STUFF? Seriously, what is your problem? Don't bring sick kids to parties. Don't bring them to play dates. Don't take them places where there are other kids. Skip Gymboree. If they have a temperature, they are contagious. Eat the cost of daycare that day. DON'T DO IT, don't even think it. It is disrespectful and rude. Believe it or not, I learned a couple of things when I was a Microbiology TA at LMU (Woot Woot Go Lions), let me dumb it down, when your kid (or anyone) is sick and snotting and tearing ALL OVER THE PLACE and HACKING all over the place, there are little morsels of snot and fluids and tears that get everywhere.
Everywhere. The kids' hands, clothes, shoes, hair. EVERYWHERE. Then it gets on STUFF. Then it gets on other peoples kids. Honestly, just because you can't see snot or smell snot IT IS THERE. Would you, for example, take your kid's diarrhea put it on their HANDS and let them run around the mall/a party/Gymboree etc.? No. So, why? Why snot? STOP. It is rude. STOP. It's not just about you. It's not about getting some time outside and letting the kids burn off energy. If you MUST get outside, like IT IS NECESSARY, like the PHARMACY and you are all alone with no nanny/babysitter/father/grandmother and someone has to go. Then keep your kid close, carry Purell, use the Purell. Don't be gross. Don't let your kid proceed to lick the chairs, the pens, the boxes, the aisles, door handles. Keep them CLOSE. If you MUST go somewhere friend/family or someone is COMING OVER, then TELL THE PEOPLE so they know! Don't just wait until later when they pick up the kid to share that your offspring had some communicative disease. It's not cool.
Oh, I know the eye rolling mothers right now who think:
1. I am crazy.
2. Kids get sick.
3. I am overprotective.
4. I have psychological issues that require assistance.
That's fine. Think it. Yeah, kids get sick. It is flu season. But, help a sister out. Damn. Don't make me feel bad for protecting my kids. You should do the same damn thing.
Woohoo. OK. I feel better.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The Great Escape
If I have to watch J shove one more piece of junk food in his face while remaining the same weight, I may have to pummel.
Seriously, he doesn't exercise and every time I see him he is eating a candy, chocolate, or a cookie. If I look at him eating, I gain weight.
I am only a little grumpy because I started Weight Watchers today and I was sitting at Panera for 1.5 hours and didn't order anything. I think just smelling the bread at Panera caused me to gain 2 pounds. (2/3 of the weight I lost over a six week period.) And, this week sans EB, I really need to be good.
Anyhow, I am sorting through my mail. It is like the universe got a memo that said "Tina is a Heiff" and the universe decided to send me my very own SPANX catalog. Um. Seriously, how did they know that I needed to stop breathing so I could look less fat? I have never gotten a SPANX catalog. Did they publish this JUST for me? I own SPANX already and so, as a result, I have a few things to say about this catalog.
Catalog Quote: "Offering unyielding support every day during life's most important events..."
Me: No. There is nothing unyielding about SPANX other than it squeezes the life out of your very core until all you remember about your most important event is your fat bulge escaping the squeeze of the SPANX and releasing itself to the world as the SPANX rolls below the bulge and DIGS into your ribs/ass/thighs etc.
Catalog: Many Size 4 Women wearing SPANX.
Me: Why are you wearing SPANX? STOP IT. Nothing needs smoothing, nothing needs to be held in, YOU ARE JUST FINE. Go back to eating your celery and sipping your Perrier. Sigh.
Catalog: "Over the years, we've tested virtually every brand of shapewear, and Spanx always comes out on top...That's because it gives women great shape without asking them to sacrifice comfort."
Me: Um, who is wearing this and what are they talking about? Is it COMFORTABLE to feel like a sausage? Is the fat roll releasing itself to the world the moment of comfort to which they refer? Because I am sorry Spanx catalog, the release of the fat roll was disturbing. I didn't know whether everyone could see the flee of my fat roll. I was tugging at the now rolled piece of elastic in between my rolls. That wasn't comfortable either. Were people watching me tugging at the now rolled band? Did they think a tick was involved? Did they laugh at my fat? We'll never know.
Catalog: "Behind every powerful woman, there's a pair of powerful panties."
Me: Interesting. I will deliberate this one and get back to you. My guess is that behind every powerful woman is a nice bag of Doritos Cool Ranch, a great nanny, a supportive husband, and a nice pair of flannel pajamas that allows her rolls to be free while she works. That's just a guess though.
Catalog: "It's easy to wear anything well - all you need is the right underpinning."
Me: No all you need is to stop breathing. There is nothing easy about wearing this stuff. Getting it on is a trial on it's own. I usually sweat trying to get any SPANX product on and luckily J has never walked in on me encountering the contortions required to get a SPANX tank on or a SPANX anything on. There is nothing easy about it. In fact, I think that this week while I am not at EB I will wake up at 5 every morning and put on SPANX. I will sweat and I will be a powerful woman.
You may wonder why I own any SPANX (let alone an entire drawer of SPANX) given the anger I have at this catalog and it is because the rolls need some help. And honestly, SPANX is the best roll shaping power you can buy. Having said that, it sucks (literally and figuratively). And, honestly, I won't wear it unless I REALLY NEED TO. But 3 kids later and many pints of Ben & Jerry's later, I have to bust out the SPANX every now and again. But so help me, my stated goal for a year from now, is to never touch SPANX again. I'd rather go under the knife - plastic surgery is my friend.
Meanwhile, I think I'll go watch J shove one more piece of junk in his mouth.
Seriously, he doesn't exercise and every time I see him he is eating a candy, chocolate, or a cookie. If I look at him eating, I gain weight.
I am only a little grumpy because I started Weight Watchers today and I was sitting at Panera for 1.5 hours and didn't order anything. I think just smelling the bread at Panera caused me to gain 2 pounds. (2/3 of the weight I lost over a six week period.) And, this week sans EB, I really need to be good.
Anyhow, I am sorting through my mail. It is like the universe got a memo that said "Tina is a Heiff" and the universe decided to send me my very own SPANX catalog. Um. Seriously, how did they know that I needed to stop breathing so I could look less fat? I have never gotten a SPANX catalog. Did they publish this JUST for me? I own SPANX already and so, as a result, I have a few things to say about this catalog.
Catalog Quote: "Offering unyielding support every day during life's most important events..."
Me: No. There is nothing unyielding about SPANX other than it squeezes the life out of your very core until all you remember about your most important event is your fat bulge escaping the squeeze of the SPANX and releasing itself to the world as the SPANX rolls below the bulge and DIGS into your ribs/ass/thighs etc.
Catalog: Many Size 4 Women wearing SPANX.
Me: Why are you wearing SPANX? STOP IT. Nothing needs smoothing, nothing needs to be held in, YOU ARE JUST FINE. Go back to eating your celery and sipping your Perrier. Sigh.
Catalog: "Over the years, we've tested virtually every brand of shapewear, and Spanx always comes out on top...That's because it gives women great shape without asking them to sacrifice comfort."
Me: Um, who is wearing this and what are they talking about? Is it COMFORTABLE to feel like a sausage? Is the fat roll releasing itself to the world the moment of comfort to which they refer? Because I am sorry Spanx catalog, the release of the fat roll was disturbing. I didn't know whether everyone could see the flee of my fat roll. I was tugging at the now rolled piece of elastic in between my rolls. That wasn't comfortable either. Were people watching me tugging at the now rolled band? Did they think a tick was involved? Did they laugh at my fat? We'll never know.
Catalog: "Behind every powerful woman, there's a pair of powerful panties."
Me: Interesting. I will deliberate this one and get back to you. My guess is that behind every powerful woman is a nice bag of Doritos Cool Ranch, a great nanny, a supportive husband, and a nice pair of flannel pajamas that allows her rolls to be free while she works. That's just a guess though.
Catalog: "It's easy to wear anything well - all you need is the right underpinning."
Me: No all you need is to stop breathing. There is nothing easy about wearing this stuff. Getting it on is a trial on it's own. I usually sweat trying to get any SPANX product on and luckily J has never walked in on me encountering the contortions required to get a SPANX tank on or a SPANX anything on. There is nothing easy about it. In fact, I think that this week while I am not at EB I will wake up at 5 every morning and put on SPANX. I will sweat and I will be a powerful woman.
You may wonder why I own any SPANX (let alone an entire drawer of SPANX) given the anger I have at this catalog and it is because the rolls need some help. And honestly, SPANX is the best roll shaping power you can buy. Having said that, it sucks (literally and figuratively). And, honestly, I won't wear it unless I REALLY NEED TO. But 3 kids later and many pints of Ben & Jerry's later, I have to bust out the SPANX every now and again. But so help me, my stated goal for a year from now, is to never touch SPANX again. I'd rather go under the knife - plastic surgery is my friend.
Meanwhile, I think I'll go watch J shove one more piece of junk in his mouth.
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