Sunday, February 22, 2009

Losing My Lap: The First Post

This morning I was sitting on the floor with Jojo (on my right thigh) and Juju (on my left). J was downstairs, working. Lulo was watching our friend Diego peacefully until he saw me with Jojo and Juju. He came to me and said "no babies". Um. OK. Yeah. No babies. Sure. Then, he tried to get on my lap. I have a big lap. But at this point, it was occupied by two 25+ pound babies.

Tomorrow, I will begin a new adventure. Extreme Bootcamp (hereinafter "EB"). 6 weeks, Monday through Friday, 5:30 AM. The aforementioned thighs better shrink for that 1.5 hours of lost sleep I intend to give up. 1.5 hours x 30 days = 45 hours. That's a work week. I am losing a work week's amount of sleep in 42 days. So, I better lose other things - my lap would be a good start because three little people can't fit on it anyway and, to my knowledge, the babies are not going anywhere.

Yesterday, I signed my life away at the EB Orientation. I actually signed a document that said that if I die, it is ok with me. I thought about editing the contract but realized that it would not likely be enforceable if I actually did die. They gave us a EB Survival Guide including a mess log in which I am supposed to jot down everything I ingest for the next 6 weeks. My favorite part of the entire Survival Guide is the page entitled "FOR MAXIMUM WEIGHT LOSS, DO NOT EAT AFTER 3PM:" and then it provides a list of all the things I should not eat after 3 pm: bread, rice, potatoes, beans, corn, pasta, cereal, banana, melon, grapes/raisins, pineapple, sugar. Right now, I am thinking of this last year and can think of a handful of days when I ate all of those things after 3 pm. Maximum weight loss may not be a realistic goal for me.

We had to do some initial testing yesterday, sit-ups (I did 14), push-ups (I did 0), weight (no comment), measurements (they ran out of measuring tape). None of the drill instructors said anything mean. I did not cry while I was there or while I was doing my testing. And I even laughed once when the lady in front of me stated that her goal was to be Giselle. We have to state our goal. My goal: To lose my lap, literally.

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