Sunday, January 30, 2011

Stuck

I am very allergic to dogs and cats.  I remember going to my best friend Rachael’s house when she was getting ready to go to Homecoming with Diego in high school and her mother had like 32 cats in the house.  So, we ran into the house.  I ran up the stairs and she locked me in her pre-cleaned bathroom so I could help her get ready.  Within 15 minutes, I was sneezing every 30 seconds.  It is pretty gross but I am certain that the reason her hair stayed in place that night was because my sneeze mucous particles were distributed all over her hair as I was working with the hot curling iron on it.  We are still friends. 

By the end of Sunday, my nerves are usually worn thin and I am longing for Monday morning when I can wake up at the crack, go to Spin, and then come home and take my children to SCHOOL.  God bless school.  Anyhow. 

I went with my kids and husband to my in-laws house this afternoon wearing the only jeans that fit me anymore.  They have two Pomeranians that have taken over the house and usually I preload with Zyrtec and prepare to sneeze for a few hours.  The kids have fun with their cousins.  We all visit.  My MIL prepared some yummies for everyone to eat.  Well, as always, I walked into the house and within 15 minutes or so I was all stuffed up, losing my voice, rubbing my eyes, sneezing, coughing, etc.  It was way cute.

We got back home and the twins were experiencing a meltdown because (1) they wanted me to take off their boots, (2) their dad took off their boots, and (3) they wanted to take bath wearing their rain coats that they hadn’t taken off since 3:30 even though we were inside with the Pomeranian hair.  That just does not work.  And it’s Sunday.  And they need to go bed so that I don’t call 9-1-1 screaming 5150 repeatedly just so I can get seventy two hours of peace and quiet with a straight jacket on.

Meanwhile, I am going to pee in my pants. I hold it and hold it and hold it …until every one is bathed sans rain coats and in bed.  I run to the bathroom with snot running down my face and pee almost dripping out and I grab a Kleenex and try to rip off my jeans simultaneously and the Kleenex catches on the zipper of my only fat ugly pair of jeans and the zipper fails.  Totally fails.  With Kleenex stuck between each crevice of the zipper mechanism.  No more jeans.  Big fat ass.  I am all stuff up.

And that was the makings of my Sunday evening breakdown.  I cried.  A lot.  Things just aren’t going well.

Good Night. 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Review that Made the Cut

So this is what I think I will go ahead and post as my review…is it better?  a little less psycho?

Dear Potential Employer:

Our family worked with Aline for almost two years.  She started out being really great, she had a good relationship with the kids, and she was mostly very reliable.  However, she began to slack off over time.  She spent a lot more time on her cell phone texting and calling friends…even when the kids were awake and in front of her.  She also stopped interacting with them as much.

On what turned out to be her last day, I was concerned about something that happened that could have only happened if she was not paying attention to my kids.  I guess she did not like that I questioned her because after I went back to work, she texted me that she had left my house and was not coming back.  In other words, she left my kids unattended and texted me to end a two year relationship with my family.   

My advice:  Try another nanny.  She is not trustworthy, ethical, responsible, or mature.  I would be very concerned about leaving any kids in her charge.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Ex-Nanny Chronicles: The Heartbreaker.

See, the other day I wrote a review of this ex-nanny so that I could post it on Care.Com. And then, J read it and told me that the only person who would write a review like that is completely insane and no potential employer would ever regard it in their decision making. Sigh. Well, for whatever it's worth, it made me feel better to write it.

Perhaps that's a lawyer thing...writing a mean letter makes you feel better? Now, though, I feel worse because I still want to post a review. Maybe I will edit it a tad and take out about 6 paragraphs...? Or maybe, I will just stew. Any thoughts, friends?
**
Dear Potential Employer:

If you are considering hiring Aline, the first question you should ask her is what she's been doing since she left Brazil. She has been working for me full-time for the better part of 2 years, on and off. You should then seriously consider the fact that she has failed to obtain a recommendation from me after such a long relationship. That ALONE should disturb any potential employer. Sadly, my experience with Aline ended in a very negative fashion.

Don't expect any loyalty, maturity, work ethic or decency from this nanny. Perhaps, she'll care for your kids and they'll be fine but she will have very little respect or honor for the parent/nanny relationship. In fact, the only reason that I have given her 2 stars is because my children appeared happy and unharmed during the two years they were in her charge. But, perhaps this was only a function of the fact that my husband and I worked from home and kept an eye on things.

On the day she left, I had questioned the fact that she had clearly been ignoring my children. A toy which had no reason to be destroyed was in a hundred pieces. An open magazine and her cell were on the table. She had obviously been ignoring my kids while she amused herself reading about celebrities and texting her boyfriend. After I questioned her about it, she answered me that they had been "playing". Um, seems to me that her entire job was to pay attention to the kids. No one in their right mind would have allowed them to "play" in this fashion.

I let the issue go even though I had a few choice things to tell her because Aline had already told me this would be her last week and I wanted to keep things friendly. Frankly, you expect people to slack off a little during their last week on the job. Sadly, this is all you can expect from people anymore. However, I was very disappointed in the fact that she would allow my kids to destroy a toy when they had managed to keep the toy in one piece for several weeks. Perhaps it was her grasp of English but she seemed to think that I was accusing her of destroying the toy, but really I was wondering what SHE was doing that allowed her to so thoroughly ignore my children that they could have done such an enormous amount of damage. My boys are normal toddlers - so, I am not disturbed by what they did. Toddlers take things apart. I, do, however wonder what SHE was doing when she was supposed to be taking care of them.

Next thing I knew, I was working in my office and I got a text that she had left my home, that she had "no guilt" regarding what happened to the toy, and she wouldn't be coming back. Heartless. Isn't that lovely? Isn't it lovely that the moment I questioned her care of my children which was her only job, she would jump in her car and LEAVE my children unattended after having a relationship with my family for TWO years.

Frankly, I now must also question her intelligence. Would an intelligent person allow children to act without regard for themselves and their belongings without a second thought? Would an intelligent person sacrifice their only job reference in this country? Probably not.

She is the exact kind of person who places no value and has no regard to a long relationship or a good repoire with her employer. Aline collected her Christmas present and large bonus and went on vacation for a week. A vacation I permitted because I assumed she'd return. Well, dear friends, the woman emailed me on the Tuesday (during her vacation) preceding New Year's Eve to let me know that the next week would in fact be her last week working for me. Not even 2 weeks notice...on a HOLIDAY week no less! How appropriate. Collect your bonus and bail? Aline is a real class act. AND THEN, come ONE morning and leave without saying goodbye and TEXT that you are gone merely because your employer had the "audacity" to question the below standard level of care of the kids.

Who DOES that? Can you imagine the kind of person who would be so rude and inappropriate? After treating her as part of my family and paying her timely for TWO years, she summarily left MIDDAY with a TEXT. Seriously? Heartbreaking. She'll screw you, folks. Have no doubt about it.

{{To be fair, please understand that this relationship was good for a long time. She used to care about the kids and what she was doing. I am not a negligent parent and would not have kept her on for this long unless she had some good qualities. However, that clearly changed and her actions upon her departure showed me that perhaps she was clearly not the person I thought.}}

You can't trust this person. Keep her out of your homes, out of your lives, out of your childrens' lives. She has no moral compass and I hope I never have to cross paths with her again. She is the worst kind of employee and hopefully the only employment that she manages to obtain when comes back from Brazil is one where disrespect, a low IQ, and a below average set of values is the norm...a telemarketer perhaps?