Runner's Hi Do You Have Directions?

EB today consisted of a nice long run (or at least it did for me). We got there and did our warm-up stuff and then we started running. Now, of course, you can imagine that when a group of people go out on a run - the group staggers. The more seasoned bootcampers take longer routes and are first in line. The less seasoned (or wholly unseasoned bootcampers, like myself) end up sort of in the back.

Today, I was sort of running second to last. I could see the lady in front of me for a good part of the run but then I lost her. I couldn't see the DI and other bootcamper behind me. So, like Forrest trying to come to grips with his loss of Jenny, I just ran. I was sort of lost. Sort of not. I knew what city I was in but I had NO IDEA what street I was on. I sort of prayed that the street I was coming up on was the street I thought it was. I sort of was thinking about the fact that I may need to ask someone but no one was around. (Where is a cop when you need them?)Yeah, it was sort of special. I guess that is why I kept jogging - because if I stopped I would never have known if I was going the right way.

Then I started thinking...would anyone find me? And why didn't I bring my cell phone? I wondered if J would look for me if I never came home. Or, whether J would just go back to work and let the babies cry until they walked out of the room when they were 3 all dressed and ready to go to preschool? Would I be like Natalie Holloway? No because I wasn't drinking and I wasn't in Aruba? Would I be like what's her name - the one who wasn't killed by (but was having an affair with) the guy they thought killed her? Name, name. CHANDRA LEVY. Condit. Bleck. She was running too. But, nope, no affair here. Then I thought of poor Laci. But thankfully, I am not pregnant and although J may not have a Tina Fan Club every day, I don't think he is thinking of murder. {Number 1 cause of death of pregnant women: MURDER. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it.} Besides that, against popular advice, we don't have any life insurance so my death would leave a huge gaping hole in the daily life of my family even though...according to J, I do nothing. Anywho. Yeah, no life insurance, we really ought to get that and write a will. Yes, I really thought of all these things...in what I think was the first mile. Why? Because that is what disturbed people like me think of.

Now, running for me has never been something I enjoyed but today, it wasn't horrible. I thought I would need music or company to run for that long but the noise in my head was plenty (see above). It was quiet and I felt good. Nothing hurt (except my side) and even though I am not a very fast runner, I stayed jogging for...hold on to your seats...3 miles. Can you believe it?

Now, mind you, I jogged into camp today and I felt like a dipball. Everyone was already stretching and stuff. It was time to go home. But, you know what, I did it. And I went to EB feeling sort of crappy this morning, and that jog took the bleck right out of me. I have felt good all day.

EB really has made me feel better, taller (if that is possible), more energetic, less oaf. I don't think I have lost all that much weight but I don't feel as flabby. I also have created goals for myself. When I started it was like, "if I can make it to that tree, then I will let myself walk a little." Now, it's like, "I can't stop jogging." Next session, it may be "I want to keep this pace or make it back in X amount of time." This is good for me.

I am not one to be all fitness advocate. Rah Rah Tammy Lee Webb, look at my Abs O Steel. But, I now get why people end up sticking to a routine. It can be invigorating and it feels good. I have never come back from working out feeling like I shouldn't have gone.

This has been a good experience. The DIs are great. They are encouraging and knowledgeable and likable. You know there is a very delicate balance between bossing a person around to do stuff they don't think they can do AND being kind. The DIs manage it. This experience has been worth every minute's lost sleep. Go EB.

I was chitchatting with DI-Size0 on Facebook today. I was sort of giving her a hard time for ditching me in the middle of Claremont somewhere. I kind of wanted her impression about how we have all improved and whether that was a source of pride for her. And she was saying that the only time they get annoyed as DIs is when someone drops all that money and then they aren't motivated or encouraged by the DIs and they sort of go half assed. I don't get this attitude either (and I don't think anyone in my group has this attitude). I mean, when I don't do something it's truly because I can't. I don't get the concept of paying to get your ass kicked at 5 am and then not really doing it. Anyhow, kick my ass. I pretty much always do my best - even if it means I am in the middle of nowhere looking for a cop or fearing a murderer.

I know this "rah rah EB" post is premature. I still have 3 more days. But, I had to say it now because I am just filled with happy happy joy joy emotions. Is this what they call a runner's high? Well if it is, I like it. Bring on the endorphins people, I am here to stay.

Snoozing

The alarm went off today, Week 6, Day 1. Woh boy. I fell asleep at 8:30 last night which technically means that I slept 8 hours but, let me tell you after all that twin partying I did yesterday, I started interrogating myself about the need to go to EB. So, I snoozed. Then, I got up at 5 and freaked that I would be late. I got there on time. I could have snoozed another time - I need to be a better snoozer.

So much jump roping. We were supposed to be aiming for 300 jumps in 3 minutes. Uh huh, yeah. I got to 173. And I am fairly sure that my jumps caused the earthquake in San Francisco today. Yep, I started the ripple effect that caused the earthquake.

Then we did some sitting against the wall (no chair - what's up with that?) Lunges. Squats. We also did something awful called a bear crawl. Bears would never do this shit. Bears are totally lazy animals. It was impossible. We had weights in our hands and we were in push up position but with our asses in the air. Poor helicopters. Anyhow, then we crawled. That kicked my butt, seriously. It is really hard. Go try it. If that is how bears feel when they walk around, I totally get hibernation. Bears snooze so they don't have to do a bear crawl.

Oh, so many painful things. And now, tonight, I am wiped out. I didn't feel good when I woke up and I still don't. Just achey and my throat hurts. I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH WEEK 6. I can't miss. I feel like my knees already made me miss like a week - I can't miss any more!!!

I feel challenged. Challenged at EB. Challenged at life. Challenged at motherhood. How will I make it through the next 4 days sick? How will I make dinner most every night for the next 50 years? How will I make it through three children going through the terrible twos and threes? I don't have this kind of patience. Seriously.

I need to snooze.

Baby Fiesta

I am not a hostess by nature. Today we had the twins' first year birthday party. We had a lot of people over - family (from near and far), friends (old and new), my nurses from the hospital (now friends), and a bunch of kids. The day was beautiful, the kids had fun, there was food and merriment. J finally "finished" the backyard (more or less) but it looks AMAZING. He did a good job. In fact, we TOTALLY can throw tons of parties now this summer. Too bad I am a sucky hostess.

Seriously, of all the wonderful genes my Mom failed to pass on, one was the hostess gene. I have watched my mother effortlessly host parties of 4 to parties of 100+ and she doesn't break a sweat. She smiles the whole time, the food is always amazing (and SHE makes it), and everyone always seems to have an amazing time.

I, on the other hand, suck. I mean, maybe everything turns out OK. The food, usually take out, is here. But, even with all the help that I receive from the pizza folks and Costco and family and nannies. I totally break a sweat. I pretty much totter around and I don't make anything look easy or effortless. I look exhausted. I feel exhausted. I always know I could have done better. I suck at the hostess thing. This is something that I want to improve on but I don't think I can really. I mean. I am always going to be all stressed out about stuff "turning out ok".

Of course, I have always believed my mother was in a league of her own. And I still do believe this - she is enchanting, graceful, and skilled. But, a few weeks ago we went to my friend's kid's birthday party and seriously, she rocks. The food was amazing and she made it. Her house was right out of the Pottery Barn catalog. And she was skinny. And she has a full time job. And she has 2 kids. I was jealous :) And I now know, I have NO excuse for being so lame.

The day was so fun though. It was great see how cute the boys looked. They were in a fairly decent mood all day with a few crying spells. Everyone enjoyed them and so did I.

My son, Lulo, hated the bouncy thing. This is genetic and I am glad I have passed on that very positive trait. I hate the Bouncy Bouncy too. I have resisted the Bouncy Bouncy for 2.5 years and for this party I had to give in: (1) we have a backyard now and (2) what are 30 kids going to do for 3 hours if there is no Bouncy Bouncy. I sort of swore that I would NEVER get a Bouncy Bouncy. So, today, I ate my words (and many other things that would anger my DIs.) Anywho, I think parents like it when you exhaust their children in the Bouncy Bouncy and then they take home sleepy children that CRASH at night. That is good. Parents like me tonight.

It was totally cool to see my nurses from the hospital. It sort of brought the year around full circle. The three ladies who showed up to the party got me through 80 days. Wow. Ups and downs, tears, laughter, food, sickness, frustration, fear. They helped me get those boys and for them, I will always be grateful. I think they had fun seeing them too. I think we all sort of wondered how the year passed so quickly.

I saw my best friend R who I haven't seen since she brought her daughter home from the hospital. Her little angel is SO CUTE, so teeny. She was sweet and lovely, and I don't think I heard her cry the ENTIRE time she was here. She was wearing a cute little skirt and a cute little top (that I got her ;)). She had cute little fingers and cute little toes. She has BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES. And you know what that little angelic girl made me think of....

....I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO TRY FOR A GIRL!!! Ha, ha. Nope. Not me. I don't want to do this baby stuff again. Not. Having. A. Girl. Not. Having. More. Babies. Done, done, and done. Don't ask me. You know why? Because the answer WON'T CHANGE!! DONE!

I am soooo happy we made it to this 1 year birthday party.
I am soooo happy that we made our last pitcher of Enfamil formula on Thursday.
I am soooo happy that the tears from now on will lessen.
I am soooo happy they are going to be more mobile (I think).

Um, yeah TOTALLY DONE WITH LITTLE BABIES!!! TOTALLY! Dancing! Shakin it!!! Bate Bate. Shimmying. Done, done, done. They are ONE!! YEAH!! I had my LAST FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! Hee hee hee. Shakin it.

OK. This hostess is going to go pass out now. I am happy I got here...with these boys, with J, with this fabulous day, with amazing family and supportive, loving friends. I am happy here on the other side of the first birthday party of my twins. What a day!

The Important Stuff

There I was yesterday thinking I was hot shit for not walking during our 1.7 mile run at EB. For me, not walking for 1.7 miles is pretty miraculous. If you remember on our first day, I had to walk during our mile run. So, yesterday, I was all stoked that I managed to keep at a jog the whole 1.7 miles.

So, confidently, I go to EB today thinking - well, we did a long run yesterday so we probably won't run much if at all.

Ha.
Ha.
Ha.

Never, ever attempt to psychoanalyze bootcamp. If you do, you are dead. If you think you know what you are going to do - you don't. And just when you think you are catching the drift of things, BANG, they throw in an incline resembling Mount Olympus.

OK. So we did our calisthenics - jumping jacks, 8 counts, etc. Some stomach stuff. Then we set off for a run. I think we maybe ran 1/2 a mile or 3/4 of a mile and we got to an steep, steep hill. DI-Size0 stayed at the bottom. DI-MC ran up to the top. And us bootcampers, we went up and down, up and down, up and down. I guess each stretch up the hill was maybe 1/8-1/4 of a mile. I did it 5 times. There were only 3 of us there today. The other 2 ladies are veterans and were jamming and did it 6 times. I was a sad, sad display. I suffered. I tried to stay at a very slow jog as much as possible both up and down and I think I only slowed to a walk a couple times. But that run back to camp (after Kilimanjaro), unfortunately, wasn't a run at all. I walked about half of it. So sad. Anyhow, I am a little sore tonight. My knees, thankfully, don't ache. But, I am tired. Really tired.

Tomorrow is the last day of Week 5 and these five weeks have gone very quickly. I have really enjoyed myself and I think I am going to do this again. Suffering or not, I am enjoying it. And, I like that I am improving. I am so competitive with my own self that this is a new challenge for me to meet. I also am in awe of the woman, T, who has been doing this for a year. One year. Every day. Wow. The lady can move - she jumps, she runs, she can do all the stuff. I am jealous. I don't think I will ever be as good as her but I do think I can have a lot of room for improvement. I want to be the best version of me. I can, I can, I really can.

All my children are sick. My husband is sick. The twins' birthday party is on Sunday - nothing is ready. Jojo gets his new effing helmet tomorrow. Things are real fun here. But, you know, at least I can jog 1.7 miles that's all that matters.

Celebrate

How did this happen? My twins are 1. We survived the first year. Oh, I am just so overwhelmed with this day. And, because I am a pessimist by nature, I am overwhelmed by the fact that they are ok, that we are ok. That things did indeed turn out fairly well.

Oh, yes. The first five months or so, I pretty much wanted to die. The sleep deprivation was horrible. The search for a proper nanny was pretty terrible. But, now, we are here on the other side and it is bright and cheery! Yeah, God!

What a blessing and joy Juju and Jojo are. Being greeted by their smiles every morning is like magic. To think that one year ago today, I got a glimpse of them as soon as they were delivered and then they were immediately taken to the NICU and then I didn't see them until I could move (which wasn't until late that night.) I can't believe that they were so tiny, so fragile, and so unknown to me just one year ago. Oh, there were so many things that could have gone wrong, that didn't go wrong. Wow. Like I said, I am overwhelmed.

Jojo is fiery. Full of energy. He laughs and smiles a lot. His laugh is a gurgle and it is funny to hear. I wish I could bottle his laugh. His eyes dance and he is always looking around, exploring, thinking, and mesmerized by Lulo. He has one tooth and doesn't walk or crawl. He sits and chills or he stands. He isn't chunky and he isn't skinny. He is just right - he is almost muscular.

Juju is changing personalities as of late. He started out very very mellow. He only cried when something was amiss. He slept good. He never caused any issues. Now, he wants more attention. He is still pretty mellow but is becoming serious, dolling out his smiles for the truly special occasions. He is chunky, cuddly, and lovable.

Happy Birthday to my little Angels. I celebrate them.

Sockie, Sockie, Bate, Bate

Lulo is going through a cute phase that has appeared more than the "screaming, tantrums, and throwing food" phase that had been happening a little too much for my liking.

At night, when I can't get him into footie pjs and he requests (uh, demands) either "penguin pants" or "crocodile pants" or "crab pants", I have been putting them on AND a pair of socks. It is still cold and the boy still refuses to let me put a blanket on him. Oh, Back to Sleep Campaign, my kids won't sleep with blankets? It looks like they are prisoners or something. Or it looks like I am a mean Mom who keeps the beds sparse and sad because I don't feel like my children deserve joy and comfort. Anyhow.

I put his little socks on and he literally takes them off 300x in the span of the 15 minutes that I sit and read him 3 books. He takes one off and goes SOCKIE SOCKIE SOCKIE. So, I replace it. Then, he takes the other one off. SOCKIE SOCKIE SOCKIE. The first 85x, I am amused and I sort of love his cute little feet and cute little socks. But by the 87th time, I am THIIIIIS close to putting his sockie somewhere unpleasant. But, I keep doing it. And you may wonder, why doesn't she just stop putting them on. Well, because he spazzes. Then you may wonder, why don't you just prevent him from taking them off. Well, because he spazzes.

And you know, I am enjoying the cute phase, the no screaming phase. Oh, and the twins are trying to nod off RIGHT NEXT door so a WAIL that could wake the dead from Lulo about a sock that I could easily replace, well, it's not worth all THREE screaming. So, little sockies on and off, on and off.

In the morning, we usually hang out and his new thing is he wants to "bate bate" (pronounced vat-ay, vat-ay for you gringos out there). Oh little Dora, how you teach us Spanish and teach us to bate bate. BATE BATE CHOCOLATE, MIX YOUR CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE. I do a little dance just singing it. When I make pancakes, waffles, muffins etc. in the morning, I always now ask Luk if he wants to BATE BATE and he loves to. My little budding baker. BATE BATE CHOCOLATE. Come on, shake it, sing it, stir it. Do the dance. It's addictive.

Anyhow, we haven't vatayed much lately because it seems that mixing up a batch of chocolate chip muffins after EB would defeat the purpose. Today, I think we ran up stairs and ran down a ramp for about 30 minutes....maybe it was 15. But we ran up a lot of stairs. Stairs, weirdly, don't bother me. This may be a direct result of my house made of stairs. I can move up and down stairs. I rock at stairs. It was the HOPPING up the stairs that was a little challenging. I had to hold on to the railing or my mad hopping skills were seriously stunted. Why can't I hop? Is this a difficult skill? Don't 2 year olds have this skill down?

We also did A LOT of stomach work. Hovering, then hovering on our left side, then our right. Then hovering and then sticking our butts up in the air then hovering again. No break. Yeah, I was adorable.

Tomorrow at EB I am going to suggest a little BATE BATE a la Dora to get the party started. I believe this works the arms, the abs, and if you put your ass into it, I am fairly sure that it is more efficient than lunges and squats.

Costco Fever

Alright folks. I just went to Costco after a loooooooooooooooooooooong day. And I thought, ok, how bad can it be? People fled to Costco this weekend for their large muffins and extremely large container of pineapple. Monday after 7 is a good time to go to Costco.

Well, no, no it is not.

Last week I sent Nanny the Great (yes, there are 2 nannies, at different times) to Costco for me with a list of stuff. I think I have done this 1200 times with no problem. Last week, they confiscated my card and told her to leave the premises. Nice. Totally a time saver. So, I had to schlep to Costco to get my card. I gave the "manager" a lecture about consistency which he completely did not understand and I left with my last 4 containers of formula (yeah!) and some diapers.

So, today, since I couldn't send Nanny the Great due to the aforementioned incident which has resulted in a "Manager's Hold" on my card, I went at night. After work, after dinner, after bed time, after bath time.

Here's what I don't get and maybe you can illuminate this for me. Or, I guess I do get it but I don't like it...

WHY ARE THERE CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF TWO STILL AWAKE AND RUNNING AROUND COSTCO AT EIGHT P.M. ? No, seriously. Why? Don't parents understand the value of sleep and a schedule and routine. The kids were overstimulated, tired, freaking out, dragging their poor little feet. Children need a schedule. They thrive on one. Rest helps their little mind rejuvenate. Kids don't need to be at Costco at 8 pm. They need to be in their jammies and if not asleep, close to it. KIDS SHOULD NOT BE AT COSTCO ON A MONDAY AT EIGHT!!!

The lines were obscene.

The people coughing without covering their mouths were abundant. Flu season people. Seriously, embrace it.

Those muffins are really big.

There was a big little girl (maybe 6) in a too small pink tank top downing a large hot dog. She was enjoying every second of it. Meanwhile, she was no doubt catching PNEUMONIA because it was 55 degrees outside and she shouldn't have been outside in a tank top.

I bought a Rotisserie Chicken. I have much love for the Rotiss. You cut it up and can use it in salads, enchiladas, pasta, chicken salad, ANYTHING. Oh, Rotiss, you sing to me. And no I didn't even sneak a little bit of that yummy Rotiss skin...nope, no I didn't.

Oh, and the best part was...after all that walking up and down the aisles, my knees were PAINLESS. EB was pretty good today. We ran, but not too much. I managed to do jumping jacks without looking like a geriatric. I did four counts in 6 counts, 8 counts in 12 counts, and ran without limping. It's all good people, all good.

And so, dear Costco. When can I come within your walls and not have to battle the evils of our society? Children without routine, people with poor hygiene, and large serving sizes that I am certain are contributing to the obesity problem in America. Seriously. Costco was gross today. I need a drink.